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Kliska
Heimin (Commoner)
Joined: Jan 10, 2006
Posts: 51
Location: Only Garbage Can With Electricity
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 Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 1:09 am Post subject: Funny! New Euro English! |
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I came across this joke from the site http://www.ahajokes.com/fp052.html while I was at my friends house. We found this very amusing to read! Hope you guys enjoy it too! 
Note: NOT for bad readers/stupid people =D
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k".
This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza.
Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Zen ve vil rul ze vorld!!! |
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urj
Conscript
Joined: Nov 08, 2005
Posts: 103
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 1:14 am Post subject: |
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| HAHA, oh that was pretty funny, i never knew it would end like that... lol |
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xenon10
Jikan Samurai
Joined: Oct 25, 2005
Posts: 933
Location: Cebu, Philippines
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| Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 7:22 am Post subject: |
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| hahaha....i think i've already this one before. i ahd a hard time understanding the remaining parts. this just proves you can't change some things people are already used to. that's why i say no more english subject in the philippines. hahahaha |
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quosimos
uncommoner
Joined: Aug 05, 2005
Posts: 3228
Location: Jack lives here
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| Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 8:40 am Post subject: Re: Funny! New Euro English! |
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haha looks like german to me meh i was never that good at the subject after i stopped turning up to morning classes 
| Kliska wrote: |
| Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. |
the silent e is surely a crime against humanity and the arch nemesis of logic. Thank god English isnt as bad as French when is comes to silent letters. My grade 11 theory was that if every single person on this Earth chanted Francaise at the same moment, the entire cosmos would instantly collapse into itself. |
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Rya
Yari Ashigaru
Joined: Apr 08, 2005
Posts: 394
Location: Germany
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| Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 8:42 am Post subject: |
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| It's strange how everyone zinks we Germans couldn't pronounce ze "th"... what nonsense. |
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quosimos
uncommoner
Joined: Aug 05, 2005
Posts: 3228
Location: Jack lives here
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| Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 8:48 am Post subject: |
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| i think the 'ze' pronunciation of 'th' and 'v' instead of 'w' is rather charming hehe and good for a laugh as well |
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aprun
Heimin (Commoner)
Joined: Jul 02, 2004
Posts: 68
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| Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 11:11 am Post subject: |
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| Ze stupid americans zink zat ze Chinez kannot pronouns(Pronounce) ze 'th' sound. How was zat? |
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Rya
Yari Ashigaru
Joined: Apr 08, 2005
Posts: 394
Location: Germany
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| Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 12:34 pm Post subject: |
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When I hear Chinese guest students at my university talk, it sounds more like some sort of Insect language with so many click sounds. No offense - that's just my impression  |
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Kliska
Heimin (Commoner)
Joined: Jan 10, 2006
Posts: 51
Location: Only Garbage Can With Electricity
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| Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 9:12 pm Post subject: |
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| Rya wrote: |
| When I hear Chinese guest students at my university talk, it sounds more like some sort of Insect language with so many click sounds. No offense - that's just my impression |
Errr I speak Chinese (Mandarin) and I hear no "clicking" sounds when I or someone else speaks it. Must be another form of Chinese you're talking about =.= |
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silverkitsune
Daimyo
Joined: Sep 01, 2005
Posts: 1818
Location: Milk comes in bags here.
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| Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 9:19 pm Post subject: |
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| Rya wrote: |
| It's strange how everyone zinks we Germans couldn't pronounce ze "th"... what nonsense. |
That's odd, I thought that was the french.
I'm taking a german class and I can't think of a german word that has "th" in it.
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svmah
newbie!
Joined: Aug 29, 2005
Posts: 42
Location: Never-ever land
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| Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 9:25 pm Post subject: |
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that is funny (sort of reminds me of hitler actually, they choose english and it starts to sound like german? suspicious, no?  )
I also speak a little Mandarin and even though i don't hear any clicking sounds, i am probably butchering it, therefore, i don't speak it unless forced by relatives |
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aprun
Heimin (Commoner)
Joined: Jul 02, 2004
Posts: 68
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| Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 9:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Rya wrote: |
| When I hear Chinese guest students at my university talk, it sounds more like some sort of Insect language with so many click sounds. No offense - that's just my impression |
Well it definitely isn't mandarin. Mandarin usually uses the Xi or Sh sound, which is pretty easy to tell even though I don't speak it. Cantonese is more likely what you heard. Though I'm not sure about the clicking sound. Maybe it was a border language....Cause Cantonese sounds more like a whine to me. Not like a child's whine, more like an animal's whine people. Anyway, I didn't speak in 'Euro English' but that would be too complicated. Is that really going to happen though? |
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Xristyan
THE Forumer®
Joined: May 09, 2005
Posts: 21728
Location: At the Left Coast of The Maple Leaf
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| Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 11:25 pm Post subject: |
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| Rya wrote: |
| When I hear Chinese guest students at my university talk, it sounds more like some sort of Insect language with so many click sounds. No offense - that's just my impression |
i thought the clicking sound was with the africans...
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1ce
Retired Forumer
Joined: Jul 31, 2005
Posts: 9275
Location: Somewhere in CANADA
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| Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 11:30 pm Post subject: |
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On Topic: Interesting, but the final result gave it the german / russian accent and looked a lot more german than it would in english.
| aprun wrote: |
| Rya wrote: |
| When I hear Chinese guest students at my university talk, it sounds more like some sort of Insect language with so many click sounds. No offense - that's just my impression |
Well it definitely isn't mandarin. Mandarin usually uses the Xi or Sh sound, which is pretty easy to tell even though I don't speak it. Cantonese is more likely what you heard. Though I'm not sure about the clicking sound. Maybe it was a border language....Cause Cantonese sounds more like a whine to me. Not like a child's whine, more like an animal's whine people. Anyway, I didn't speak in 'Euro English' but that would be too complicated. Is that really going to happen though? |
I'm offended... |
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