Insults

[Splinter]

Does anyone know any good insults? im really bad at makeing them up and im often left scrambleing for a come back. This kinda makes me a target so please help me out. (no swearing please)

[Satsujin]

repeat what they say until they are pissed off,this is a double edge sword so either you win or it make's you look .............. or you could try "I know what you are but,but what am I?"

[TowersA_3]

You're so ugly, you make blind kids cry.

You're so ugly, you give Freddy Kruegger nightmares.

You're so poor, beggars give you money.

You're so poor, I saw your mom walking down the street with one shoe,
I said, "Hey, you lost a shoe." she said, "No, I found one."

[silvermirage]

Nah, you don't need to know good insults, you need one of these!
http://www.stupid.com/stat/MRTP.html

[brother]

your moms is so hairy she make chewbakka look like Mr.clean

your moms is so fat i rolled over twice and was still on top of her

your moms so fat i climb top of her and got a nose bleed

[xenocrisis0153]

best source for insults.... rent/buy the In Living Color DVDs and search for the segments called "the Dirty Dozens." omfg lmao

some include:
your momma's teef so yellow, when she smiles, traffic slow down
your momma's so fat, we inside her right now

damn, that's all I can think of any more

One of my own, however is this (but it only works for males insulting other males):

if a guy is insulting you, just stare at him, then pretend like your crotch is itching. Put your hand on your junk and move it around a bit, then pinch your thumb and index finger together and slowly pull your hand away, making it look like you're pulling off a hair. Old your hand in front of your face like you're inspecting something, then say: "hey, this looks like one of your girlfriends hairs." You'll either win the battle or get knocked out cold right away, take your chances, hahaha

oh, and another one of my favorite personally-made insults:
"You must get quite the pleasure being a dick and an asshole at the same time" (sorry about the dirty language, not exactly swearing, but I know it's crude, haha)
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[CGY]

You are so specially made, that your face would scare the living soul out of the pure saints...

[Frundock]

You are, but a subproduct of humanity.

I also heard one time, from a teacher to a student :

Your father should have a stain on the sheets instead of society.

[dophen]

An annoying and good insult is if they say something such as your stupid say, "Your mom's stupid" or something like that.
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[asqwzx]

when your mom and dad did it, they did stain on eath, it would have been better to do it in the bed ><

[Akazu]

i think i find this one hilarous

Your mothers so cheap, when i ring the doorbell, she sticks her head out the window and yells "DING DONG". LOL i love that one! =D

[Loveless]

Just stop if you're a dumbass who can't come up with plausible comebacks or witty side-commentary. Just give up the asshole persona completely.

[Splinter]

[CGY]

It is very difficult, to compare your highness with a pig, regarding which one of you two is more intelligent.

[Doomsought]

for massive ownage check out my latest entry into Evelution VS. Creation
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If violence isn't the answer, you didn't use enough.
Most people operate under a fundamental misconception:
they believe most if not all people are good
It is saddly verry much not so.