Chuck Norris Facts

Doomsought · Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 12:03 am Post subject:

Vampires can be only be killed by sunlight, a wood steak, or a a round house kick by Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris once round house kicked the ground in china, Mt. saint hellens erupted.
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xenocrisis0153 · Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 1:29 am Post subject:

- Every anime must contain no more and no less than 15 females characters because Chuck Norris likes it that way. Because of this decree, Mahou Sensei Negima is on Chuck's Next-to-Die list.

- Disney movies are only available on DVD once a century because Walt Disney lost a karate match to Chuck Norris.

- Police in Texas don't have to patrol their streets anymore because criminals turn themselves in when they realize that they have only given Chuck Norris a reason to hunt them down.

- A weatherman once told predicted a sunny day and it ended up raining on Chuck Norris' parade. It was the last mistake that man ever made. The National Weather Service scrambled to train all of their meterologists to get their reports right before Chuck kills again.

- Chuck Norris is an alternative source of energy, but he emits an incredible amount of awesomeness that the Ozone Layer cannot contain.

- If you laugh at any of these facts or think for a moment that they are not true, you better be in a steel cage 100 miles underneath the surface of the earth. Chuck hates disbelievers.
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leoxjm · Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2006 3:08 am Post subject:

Aha!!! One of these "facts" is wrong!!! which one?

mykoz · newbie! Joined: Oct 07, 2005 Posts: 37

Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris

hahahah.

the hung like chuck norris one is funny too.

mykoz · newbie! Joined: Oct 07, 2005 Posts: 37

how did these start anyway?

Riecth · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 8:47 am Post subject:

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

Chuck Norris once decided to make a vibrator that would simulate the size and power of his actual penis. The result was a baseball bat tied to a jackhammer.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the Down Sindrome out of a 13 year old boy.

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name was Charles. Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply starred at him until he exploded.

Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the leathal does of elephant tranquilizer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rates of the other actors he fights.
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Cowie · newbie! Joined: Jul 05, 2005 Posts: 29

When Chuck Norris was fighting Godzilla, he accidently unzipped his pants, and Godzilla sundenly felt small.

FaithZ · Kyunin Samurai Joined: Sep 17, 2005 Posts: 1271

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Chuck Norris does not know about this site. Otherwise he would have deleted the internet.

Chuck Norris can draw a square circle.

Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not have to mow his lawn. He simply stares at the grass and dares it to grow.

Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

The Earth doesn't revolve. It's just trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was going to spend a relaxing day watching television when one of those commercials for Trix cereal came on. Angered by what he saw, Chuck Norris spent the rest of his, what was supposed to be a relaxing day, punching every child he came across. He would then shout at them, “Trix are for Chuck Norris.”

Jesus's Birthday isn't December 25 but Chuck Norris once sent him a birthday card for that day, Jesus was too scared to tell Chuck the truth. Thats why we celebrate Christmas
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Itachi-kun · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 10:52 pm Post subject:

In the history of man, only one has had the power to challenge Chuck Noris. He was later killed by nature to circumvent Chuck's wrath. (Thank god for Bruce Lee! Twisted Evil

)
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Doomsought · Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2006 7:07 pm Post subject:

there is only one recorded survival of a direct round house kick by Chuck Noris
the blow went directly to the mans genetiles, reversing his gender
the victim was scared so much that her skin turned a sickly plastic white
this person is known as Michel Jackson
(there are also rumore he infact did not survive but was revived as a zombie)
_________________
If violence isn't the answer, you didn't use enough.
Most people operate under a fundamental misconception:
they believe most if not all people are good
It is saddly verry much not so.

frozen_chicken · Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 9:16 am Post subject:

Chuck Norris reading his own facts about himself

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64wQMMxvKTc&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Ethesuperficial%2Ecom%2Farchives%2F2006%2F03%2F17%2Fchuch%5Fnorris%5Freads%5Fchuck%5Fnorri%2Ehtml

Blackhowlin1000 · Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 2:55 pm Post subject:

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark. Its because the dark is afraid of him.

I dont no if anyone has posted these its too many to read but I have not seen these on the one's ive read.

At the age of 3 Chuck Norris testicles droped and from that came the Atlantic Ocean.

Chuck Norris doesn't go out hunting because that could mean a slight chance of failure. So instead Chuck Norris goes killing!
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FaithZ · Kyunin Samurai Joined: Sep 17, 2005 Posts: 1271

Look what I found.... bahahhah

David Carradine, using his "l33t" Shaolin skills, can kill Chuck Norris with his mind, then separate Chuck Norris from his body to kick his ghost's ass.
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adam_askew · Heimin (Commoner) Joined: Jun 18, 2005 Posts: 81

here's a fun chuck norris fact, he's a honky!
Many people don't know this but he is... in fact white, and therefore cannot do kung fu, not to mention the fact that he's like 60 years old, and that bruce lee whuped his arse multiple times.

sayoku · Posted: Wed Mar 22, 2006 1:04 am Post subject: