Anyone got any good jokes?

ladyarakune · Posted: Tue Aug 30, 2005 2:35 pm Post subject:

of course, no one xcan know everything about the opposite sex...its just impossible
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wutang44 · Posted: Tue Aug 30, 2005 4:22 pm Post subject:

well, I'm glad someone else has figured that out; now we just have to agree on how much we let them think we know, and the Male Conspiracy is up and running again.

wutang44 · Posted: Tue Aug 30, 2005 4:23 pm Post subject:

seriously , though, is there a guy in this place who thinks he actually understands women? I would like this person to *step forward* so I can *laugh in his face.*

1ce · Posted: Tue Aug 30, 2005 4:55 pm Post subject:

Ok, I admit to it.
Now laugh in my face.
I know answers; you don't
By the way, didn't you say you were girlfriend-less?
Now I dare you to laugh in the face of someone WITH a girlfriend - ME

Tymothi · Heimin (Commoner) Joined: Aug 17, 2005 Posts: 55

Lol my math teacher told us a joke around Halloween and thought all you school kids might find it funny. What's the circumference of a jack-o-lantern? Pumkin pi! Lol corny, I know....

1ce · Posted: Tue Aug 30, 2005 4:59 pm Post subject:

ROFL.. that was so corny... as expected since it was told by your math teacher.

Tymothi · Heimin (Commoner) Joined: Aug 17, 2005 Posts: 55

Ok, I got a baby joke for y'all (cuz I know you love 'em). If it was already posted then bear with me, I've only read 10 pages lol.

How do you get 10 babies into a bowl?

A blender.

How do you get them out?

Tortilla chips.

Dhuran · Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 4:02 am Post subject:

SEX JOKE

A cowboy walks in a saloon, he saw a poster that read "whoever can make the owner's horse laughing will get a free meal". The cowboy walks out and few seconds later, the house outside really laughing so the cowboy get free meal. Next day, the cowboy see the poster changed, "whoever can make the owner's horse crying will get a free meal". The cowboy walks out and few seconds later, the horse sounds crying so he gets another free meal. Curiously, the owner ask, "I have been own the horse for 20 years and never hear him laugh or cry, what did you do to him?” The cowboy says, "Simple, yesterday I tell him my penis is bigger. Today I prove it"

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ladyarakune · Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 12:09 pm Post subject:

haha..lol

thats a good 1
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current activity: rambling on about how trinity blood got licensed
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CGY · Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 3:39 pm Post subject:

Why is math book so sad?

Because it has many problems...

1ce · Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 8:53 pm Post subject:

ladyarakune · Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 9:52 pm Post subject:

thats funny, but i cant help feel bad for that poorly endowded horse...
heres another dirty joke, im rnning ot of jokes, so its not that great
Church Bells
On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear, " replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "And if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"
_________________
CAIN is MY whore. touch him and die.
current activity: rambling on about how trinity blood got licensed
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onizukapwns · Yari Ashigaru Joined: Jul 15, 2004 Posts: 247 Location: 42

Hehe, dirty and leaves a weird afterthought.
This is one of those jokes that are meant to amuse rather than humor:

A guy walks into a bar. Ouch.
Get it?

... if you don't: It was a metal bar
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1ce · Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 10:04 pm Post subject:

Oh, I got a dirty joke. You might have heard it before.
------
Ok, a guy and a girl were having sex and the guy decides to use an old condom that he had before. Somehow he flung it out of his pocket and it went down stairs. So he said "I'll be right back. I'll go get it"

To his surprise, by the time he got down stairs, the condom had disappeared. Then he turns around and finds his brother playing with it. So he goes up to his little brother and asks "Hey, i'll give you $5 if you give me that"

His little brother brother replies, "No, how about $50"

Then the guy says "Alright fine!"

The little brother gives it back to him for $50 bucks, but then the little brother starts laughing and says "Hah! I sucked the cream filling out of it!"

IHateLois · Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 10:37 pm Post subject:

Why its great to be a guy . . .

* Your ass is never a factor in a job interview
* Your last name stays put.
* Wedding plans take care of themselves.
* You can be president.
* You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
* You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
* Car mechanics tell you the truth.
* You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
* Same work... more pay.
* Wrinkles add character
* You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
* Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
* Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
* Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
* Movie nudity is virtually always female.
* All your orgasms are real.
* You don't have to shave below your neck.
* One mood, all the time.
* Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
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