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Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /home/anime/public_html/banzai/header.php:34) in /home/anime/public_html/banzai/includes/page_header.php on line 502 Anime-Source.com :: View topic - Anyone got any good jokes?
Hah! All girls are DEFINATELY NOT sweet and innocent! Some of the other girls at my school are evil, pure evil. Thats why I hang around with guys.
One more thing, I dont think I am a typical girl...
Anyway... You got any jokes? This thread is way off track, but oh well! _________________ Take my hand,
Together we'll be,
unstoppable,
unforgetable,
free...
Joined: Oct 09, 2004 Posts: 716 Location: C-Town,GA,USA
Posted: Tue Nov 30, 2004 11:29 am Post subject:
im gonna post a joke.. just for topic sake...
Preacher, Peanuts, Recluse
One day a preacher goes to visit an elderly lady. As he is sitting there talking with her, he notices a bowl of peanuts sitting on the table in front of him. "Do you mind if I have a few peanuts?" he asks the lady.
"Help yourself," she replies.
After about an hour and a half visit, he gets up to leave and notices that he has eaten almost all of the peanuts in the bowl. "I apologize," he says to the elderly lady. "I only meant to eat a few."
"That's okay," says the lady, "Since I've lost my teeth, all I've been able to do is suck the chocolate off of them."
One day a preacher goes to visit an elderly lady. As he is sitting there talking with her, he notices a bowl of peanuts sitting on the table in front of him. "Do you mind if I have a few peanuts?" he asks the lady.
"Help yourself," she replies.
After about an hour and a half visit, he gets up to leave and notices that he has eaten almost all of the peanuts in the bowl. "I apologize," he says to the elderly lady. "I only meant to eat a few."
"That's okay," says the lady, "Since I've lost my teeth, all I've been able to do is suck the chocolate off of them."
courtisy of jokes.com....
I don't get it...
My joke? Is anyone blonde here? If so, Dont' take this offensively
A redhead, brunette and a blonde approach the stairway to heaven, someone (God) comes up to them and says, there are 1000 steps. I'm going to tell you a joke, and for each one you don't laugh at, you may take one step.
Around halfway, the red head couldn't hold her laughter and thus was sentenced to hell, the brunette almost made it but could not contain her laughter as well. The blonde had reached the 999th step, and in the middle of God's joke she started laughing uncontrollably. God asks "why did you just start laughing now?"
The blond replies..."Because I got the first joke! (hahahaha)"
Joined: Nov 03, 2004 Posts: 38 Location: Undisclosed island with Lacus
Posted: Wed Dec 01, 2004 2:13 am Post subject:
haroT3k wrote:
GOD IS DEAD!
THUS SPOKE ZARATHRUSTRA
"God is in the T.V."
or so Marilyn Manson told me.
But anyways, here a joke that i stole from a friend.
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Christmas morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts.
A malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting, which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
A man wanted to enter an exclusive club but did not know the password that was required. He waited by the door and listened. A club member knocked on the door and the doorman said, "twelve." The member replied, "six " and was let in. A second member came to the door and the doorman said, "six." The member replied, "three" and was let in. The man thought he had heard enough and walked up to the door. The doorman said ,"ten" and the man replied, "five." But he was not let in.
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