Anyone got any good jokes?

quosimos · Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 3:17 am Post subject:

haha reminds me of a sign i saw in NYC.
it bore the fluorescent message:

"THIS SIGN IS IN OPERATION"

Haighs · Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 7:12 am Post subject:

I haven't posted any good jokes in a good while, not to mention I havent' been around much, so I thought I drop by to give so humor for day lol

**Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?

If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

{A} Almost Boobs...

{B} Barely there.

{C} Can't Complain!

{D} Dang!

{DD} Double dang!

{E} Enormous!

{F} Fake.

{G} Get a Reduction.

{H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up !
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Here is a joke about how well parents know their own children Rolling Eyes

Once there were two farmers. One had a daughter and the other had a son. When their kids were teenagers they started dating, and the two farmers encouraged it. One day the girl's father went over to the other farmer's house and said that he didn't want their children dating anymore. The boy's father asked, "Why not?"

The other farmer said, "Come here and I'll show you." In his yard was the girl's name written in pee in the snow.

The boy's father said, "Oh, come on, that's just boy stuff."

The other farmer said, "You think I dont' know my own daughter's handwriting?
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manwithnoname · Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2005 1:43 am Post subject:

yes i know some but they are not mine those jokes were funny

visit funnyjunk.com for some very funny stuff
lol have fun Laughing

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momo123 · Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2005 2:05 am Post subject:

lol hi ppls i got a good joke for you all :]

A Mother had three virgin daughters. They were all getting married, and mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started. She made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex was going.

The first daughter sent a card from her honeymoon in Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but "Nescafe". At first mom was puzzled, but she went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said: "Good til the last drop." Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.

The second girl sent her card from Vermont a week after the wedding. The card said only: "Benson & Hedges". Mom went to the drawer where her husband kept his cigarettes, and she read from the Benson & Hedges pack: "Extra Long. King Size". Again mom was slightly embarrassed, but she was happy for her daughter.

The third girl left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Mom started to get really worried. Then after a month, the card finally arrived. Written on it with shaky hand writing were the words "British Airways".

Mom took out her latest Harpers Bazaar magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for BA. The ad said: "Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways."

Mom fainted ....

Chupacabra_2 · Heimin (Commoner) Joined: Nov 13, 2005 Posts: 69

"My Dog has no nose."

"How does it smell?"

"Terrible."

[Laugh track]

This joke is amusing because Participant B inquires to participant A, about participant A's dog's ability to sense nasal stimuli while being without a nasal organ. Participant A then responds to Participant B by commenting on the canine's odour instead, creating humour in "Double Meaning."

turbolax · Heimin (Commoner) Joined: Nov 03, 2005 Posts: 56

here's one, but it's a bit tasteless

question-

What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair?

answer-

Last year's hide-and-go-seek winner.

peace.

turbolax · Heimin (Commoner) Joined: Nov 03, 2005 Posts: 56

here's another blonde joke-

question-

What do you give the blonde who has everything?

answer-

Penicillin.

peace.

turbolax · Heimin (Commoner) Joined: Nov 03, 2005 Posts: 56

last one for the night-

question-

How can you tell that a blonde has had a bad day?

answer-

Her tampon is behind her ear and she doesn't know what she did with her cigarette.

peace.

1ce · Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 5:42 pm Post subject:

Don't have sex, man.
It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
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A woman sat on a plane heading for New York, when the pilot annouces that because of difficulties with the plane's engines, he must make an emergency landing. The woman, fearing that this may be the end of her life looks over to a man sitting next to her and rips her shirt and bra off, and throws herself on him. "Make me feel like a woman again!" she screamed. So the man rips his shirt off and hands it to her. "Here you go, you crazy b!tch, iron this."

griffan · Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 6:40 pm Post subject:

warning contains the word nigger and spick so dont kick me please

one day a white guy a black guy and a mexican where walking in the desert
they come across a magic lamp they rub it and the guiny sais they each get one wish
the black guy sais i want all my niggaz to be happyand free back in africa and pooh all the blacks in america where gone
the mexican sais i want all me essays to be happy back in mexico and pooh a the mexicans are gone
then the white guy wais so you mean to tell me all the spicks and niggers are out of america and the guiiny sais thats right so thw white guy sais well ill have a coke then
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