Jokes so bad they'll make your head explode!!

manwithnoname · Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 9:46 am Post subject:

a piece of string walks into a bar all happy. he sits up on the bar stool and gives it a whirl he says to the bar tender "id like a beer please" the bar tender replies "and what are you a piece of string" the piece of string replies "why yes i am" the bar tender then yells "GET OUT OF MY BAR I DONT SERVE PIECES OF STRING"

so he leaves all gloomy swishing aroun he goes out side and sets on a curve. another piece of string walks by and says "hey lets go inside and get a drink shall we" the gloomy string replies "no dont go in there he doesnt serve pieces of string" the happy string replies "well we'll just see about that. he then starts to fray his ends and then he ties him self into a big knot. he the rolss into the bar and hopes onto the bar stool and asks the bar tendor to get him a margarita. the bar tendor asks "and what are you a piece of string" the string responds "nope im a frayed knot"
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du5k · A-Source Staff Joined: Nov 05, 2005 Posts: 6357

I got something stupidier

Why is the baby crying?

Because he's dragged across the road by the chicken

subbergod · Naginata Ashigaru Joined: Mar 02, 2006 Posts: 553

Bush's presidency.
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TheLoneBrit101 · Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 7:35 pm Post subject:

Subway - HAHAHAHAHA! That was brilliant! The best one yet! Everyone is going to have to work really hard to top that!

Here's some lame jokes that came in christmas crackers:

Why is an elephant all grey and wrinkly?

Because if it was all white and smooth, it would be an aspirin

What is a snowman's favourite food?

ice burgers

Why did the rich man become a baker?

Because that's where the real dough is

CloudBlade · Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 10:35 pm Post subject:

what's worse than 5 babies nailed to a tree?

one baby nailed to 5 trees
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Angel_Armz · Rosen Ritter~ Joined: Dec 05, 2006 Posts: 10983

Your mama is so dumb she laugh at all your mama jokes

Why was the baby crying?

The baby was crying because of all the why is the baby crying jokes
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du5k · A-Source Staff Joined: Nov 05, 2005 Posts: 6357

What's worse than one baby nailed to 5 trees?

1 tree nailed to 5 babies

Xristyan · Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 4:32 am Post subject:

TheLoneBrit101 · Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 3:54 pm Post subject:

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a porsche?

I don't have a porsche in my garage

subbergod · Naginata Ashigaru Joined: Mar 02, 2006 Posts: 553

Heres a REALLY sick one.

How do you make a dead baby cry twice?

rub your bloody penis on it's teaddy bear
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du5k · A-Source Staff Joined: Nov 05, 2005 Posts: 6357

TheLoneBrit101 · Posted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 4:36 pm Post subject:

Monkey jokes!! YAY!!!

Why did the dead monkey cross the road?
He was stapled to the chicken

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it felt like it

Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
It was stapled to the first monkey

What has two legs and bleeds?
half a cat

Why did the elephant fall out the tree?
Because it thought it was a monkey

du5k · A-Source Staff Joined: Nov 05, 2005 Posts: 6357

Man A: I have a searing headache
Man B: When I have that, I'll ask my wife to give me a long, wet blowjob. It always works.
Man A: Sounds like a good idea desu~

Next day

Man B: So how was your headache?
Man A: Yeah, it's fine now... thanks for the good idea! Your house was nice too!

TheLoneBrit101 · Posted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 4:55 pm Post subject:

A cop pulls over a guy. "Your eyes are awfully red. Have you been drinking?"

"So officer," the man says. "Your eyes are awfully glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"

Fission2 · Posted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 6:56 pm Post subject:

jk 1...

A guy walks into a clock shop to get his watch fixed. As he walks in, he sees the cutest girl that he ever saw working at the counter. So the guy whips out his thing and puts in on the counter. Horrified, the girl says:

"Sir! This is a clock shop!"
He responded by: "I know, I want 2 hands and a face on this."

jk 2...

This guy brings his girlfriend over to his room to bang her. Now since he shared the same room and bunkbed with brother, he said "Alright we're going to have to make up some codes so that he doesn't find out. If you want me to go faster, say 'tomato' and if you want me to go slower, say 'lettuce'." The girl agrees and they get right to it. After a couple hours of lettuce and tomato, the little brother, not able to tolerate any more, finally says "HEY you two, stop making a sandwich, you're getting the mayo all over my head!"

jk 3...

q.
how do you get a dog to strip in math?

a.
9/3 (you need to know cantonese to understand)