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Joined: Oct 25, 2005 Posts: 933 Location: Cebu, Philippines
Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 7:34 pm Post subject:
du5k wrote:
Haha, I remember another one from white chicks.
Quote:
You're mom's so old, her milk comes in powder form.
yeah, that one, too. but that one came from the cops(which is a good insult). their rivals were just too stupid to think one.
there was another one about their mom's ass is so hairy a guy(supposedly known for having curly hair, forgot his name) would pop out and say "long live america" or something like that. ehehe...damn, that broke the joke. _________________ [IMG:120:38:2d3cd20621]http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f214/xenon10/pwnage4os.gif[/img:2d3cd20621]
[JonJonB] Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word “wand� with “wang� in the first Harry Potter Book
[JonJonB] Let’s see the results…
[JonJonB] “Why aren’t you supposed to do magic?� asked Harry.
[JonJonB] “Oh, well — I was at Hogwarts meself but I — er — got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an’ everything
[JonJonB] A magic wang… this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.
[JonJonB] “Yes, yes. I thought I’d be seeing you soon. Harry Potter.� It wasn’t a question. “You have your mother’s eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work.�
[JonJonB] “Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. “
[JonJonB] Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls
[JonJonB] “Oh, move over,� Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry’s wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, ‘Alohomora!�
[JonJonB] The troll couldn’t feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry’s wang had still been in his hand when he’d jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll’s nostrils.
[JonJonB] He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll’s nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.
[JonJonB] He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.
[JonJonB] “Yes,� Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding…. Any second now, he might hear his mother again… but he shouldn’t think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn’t want to… or did he?
[JonJonB] Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang
[JonJonB] Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.
[JonJonB] ‘Get - off - me!’ Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.
Joined: Oct 25, 2005 Posts: 933 Location: Cebu, Philippines
Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 4:03 am Post subject:
HAHAHAHA!!! that's funny...i think. it's just the sound "wang" is so weird. hahaha. it felt funny reading that thing and saying wang all the time. hahahaha _________________ [IMG:120:38:2d3cd20621]http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f214/xenon10/pwnage4os.gif[/img:2d3cd20621]
Joined: Nov 27, 2006 Posts: 1971 Location: In an ice cream tub!
Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 3:43 pm Post subject:
Classic!
du5k - sorry didn't notice your post. I believe there already is a random jokes thread...maybe. Someone will most likely prove me wrong, so its staying as it is.
If you're not British, you might not understand this:
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
Exactly
Not to be a sexist or anything, but this next one just cracked me up:
Three blonds trapped on an island desperate to leave. They're each given one wish for some bizzare reason unknown. The first one wishes and turns into a brunette and then swims off the island. The second one wishes and turns into a red-head and builds a boat out of trees and such and escapes that way. The third wishes and turns into a man and escapes via the bridge. _________________
du5k wrote:
hmm... roasted dog and angel soup, the perfect AS family meal
I wonder if I've posted this before... dun think so.
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who
found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared.
Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of Water to become, then your wish will come true."
The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted"WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The
Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.
Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.
The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool.
The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he slipped on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted,
"SHIT!!!!!!!........."
Joined: Apr 24, 2005 Posts: 8154 Location: Down Under
Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 6:38 am Post subject:
du5k--> I haven't heard of that exact one but one similar.
'There is a slide that grants you whatever you want, you slide down it saying what you want and you will land in it. The first person slid down and said 'Gold' and he landed in gold. The 2nd dude slid down and 'silver' and he landed in silver. And the 3rd guy who hadn't been paying attention, slid down the slide and said 'Weeeeee' ... well you get the idea _________________ Get ready to vote for who you think is the Sexiest Anime Character!!
This guy brings his girlfriend over to his room to bang her. Now since he shared the same room and bunkbed with brother, he said "Alright we're going to have to make up some codes so that he doesn't find out. If you want me to go faster, say 'tomato' and if you want me to go slower, say 'lettuce'." The girl agrees and they get right to it. After a couple hours of lettuce and tomato, the little brother, not able to tolerate any more, finally says "HEY you two, stop making a sandwich, you're getting the mayo all over my head!"
Joined: Jan 13, 2006 Posts: 1277 Location: That bight light in the sky with a decaying orbit.
Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 8:05 pm Post subject:
From my latin teacher:
Roses are red
violets are blue
I am Schizophrenic
So am I _________________ If violence isn't the answer, you didn't use enough.
Most people operate under a fundamental misconception:
they believe most if not all people are good
It is saddly verry much not so.
From one of line's riddles I remembered this one...:
One day, a man was walking past a clock shop when he saw the girl behind the counter. It was the most beautiful girl he ever seen. So he entered the shop, unzipped his pants and placed his... you know... on the counter. The girl shrieked.
"what are you doing! This is a clock shop!"
"I know, that why. I wanted two hands and a face on it"
Joined: May 09, 2005 Posts: 53 Location: in a galaxy far far away...or maybe in your backyard
Posted: Sat May 05, 2007 8:58 am Post subject:
there's this hunter, who's hunting two birds. one is a white bird, the second is a green bird. now to kill the white bird he needs to shoot it once.to kill the green bird he needs to shoot it twice. But the problem is the hunter has limited ammo, only two bullets. so how does he kill the two birds?(note: as the birds are flying, it is impossible for a bullet to go through both birds)
First he shoots the white bird. the green bird, seeing his friend shot to death, would turn white out of fear. so since now the green bird is white...
Joined: May 17, 2007 Posts: 144 Location: somewhere very near ...
Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 8:15 am Post subject:
OK. This one is stupid.
john:Knock Knock. Bob:Whos there? John: What do cows say? Bob: cows say-(John interrups) John: MOO! _________________ [IMG:400:150:2ffcb18b36]http://i247.photobucket.com/albums/gg154/siggyuploader96/Icecopy.jpg[/img:2ffcb18b36]
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