People are Fascinating (an opinion, add your thoughts)

[nighthawksw]

People can vary so much in appearance! tall people, short people; dark people, light people; people both sharp and slow; agile and clumsy; introverted and extroverted; independant and totally dependant. Everybody has their own life's stories, their own reasons for being who they are today. Some claim to be who they are simply due to their parents, others can describe a long process of events leading up to the creation they are today: when prompted with the right questions.

And we all have so very different interests and inspirations. When two people see an animal, one may be practically forced to scream with glee and try to hold it; while the other may break out in a cold sweat and be struck with total fear and horror. Is it because a cute little bunny nearly killed the horrified person? i doubt it; and yet they're still horrified. Could the person, so happy to see the bunny, have been given one as a present when they were young, by a very important person in their life?

We all meet people everyday, we interact with em and speak to them for various reasons; but how often do we really get to know what makes that person tick? How often do we take the time to really get to know how a person functions, why they do what they do, why they care about what they care about...and how often do we take the time to realize those questions in our own lives?

Before another person can learn about who we are, and how we became who we are; we have to find out for ourselves those very questions, who are we? Maybe i'm just biased as an introvert, but those questions are so utterly fascinating to me; and they allow others to see you not simply as you appear, but as you understand yourself.

People are who they are, supposedly, based on what you hear from those close to you growing up. You gain a sense of your self based on others' criticism of you, and eventually you think of yourself around those words; but if you can peer into your past, and find examples of why you are who you are, why you became what you are: you can gain the ability to shape your own opinion of yourself, and tell others who you are. Not everybody will be able to completely understand or know you, still; but it's a step towards knowing yourself, and giving others' a greater opportunity to get to know the real you.

Whether you're male or female, friend or stranger; i'd love to hear your story. It's never boring for me, nomatter how long it takes to feel you've said all you desire. Nomatter how big the message, or how long the conversation: i'd enjoy hearing it. Others who like you, who truly want to know you, will too.

[eisenmeteor]

Well seems fun enough to participate, appearance wise my avatar probably covers a lot of it don't see it as important either.

Question would be where to start. I'm actually quite different from the others in my family, of course their way of acting and personality gets reflected in me but overall I'm the odd one out. Some examples would be my family is more of the do it now type of people, personally more of a do it later kind of type. They can't really relax until everything is done while I'm more laidback. Neither am I as concerned about image as they are also they're a lot colder than me.

One thing noticed that while online my emo side comes out more seeing I'm not really like this outside of here.

While growing up things were pretty strict for example had to finish my meals by a certain time, so had a timelimit on meals. Wasn't allowed to go out much either heh didn't even know how to get to the convenience store until I was 12. Something else would be that when being scolded I got a beating to accompany it, my mom would have these sticks not sure what to call them that she'd use. Ohhh and I was a really big cry baby, it didn't take much to make me cry pretty unmanly of me but hey. However if you count out all the usual kid stuff I lacked personality and common knowledge in some ways it still applies. The lack of personality isn't exactly true but never had any interests growing up for the longest time I only did what was needed and expected of me and nothing else. Didn't have any friends either, me and my family didn't talk to each other so there wasn't much too "form" me. Guess also in a way you could say emotionally I didn't grow much at all and that I didn't feel much or maybe I didn't allow myself to feel, don't know.

Never really gave it that much thought about how I became who I am. But I try to act in what I think is the right way. I hate leaving people behind if someone stops to tie their shoelaces even if the rest of the gang keeps walking I'll stay and wait. I try to think about other people and putting myself in their shoes and be considerate though not always able to obviously. Hate not being able to be there for those that matters to me, it's just painful when I can't. Also realized that I get really attached to some people as well. Being as passive as I am I didn't mind adjusting to others so a lot of people told me I was too nice and that I shouldn't as it'd result in people taking advantage of it. But that's how I view the world, the golden rule: treat others as you would like to be treated. So I tried to be as nice to everyone as I could even doing things I didn't want to do like tag along for a golf/diving etc course, probably naive but can't help it. But lately I can't quite do it anymore, if it's a good thing or not who knows. Also believe that we don't always have to be strong, what's the point of friends etc if we can't be weak with them as well, to support and be supported by them. To me a person that can show their weakness is a stronger person than someone who just hides it. Because most people I know don't allow themselves to show weakness... I know it's a hard thing and makes one feel vulnerable but that's why I believe them to be stronger than those who don't show it. Have to admit though that I fall more into the hide it than show it.

On the other side I'm really immature, insecure, self destructive, pretty stupid and pathetic. Also I'm horrible absolutely horrible at explaining things. Can't take alcohol either, get drunk really fast which only means I get tired and sleepy. One thing that I realized from an anime funny enough is that I'm moved by what's infront of me and not by a bigger picture or anything like that.

My father would probably fall into the crappy father category. Though I was too young to remember anything he was apparently worse than most. Simply put I was unwanted by him, so unwanted that when I was a baby he put me in a freezer obviously to kill me. And he'd play these mind games with people, messing them up, making them afraid of him. Once when my sister was around 19 he showed up at a place she worked at and she ran and hid behind a counter scared as hell. Even now long after he got cut out of our lives my mom is still scared of him. Don't really believe this but heard that he also ran a brothel.

There is one moment in my life that really laid down the path to create who I am today, if that never happened I can with a 99% certainty say that I wouldn't be who I am now.
When I was around four my parents got divorced. No big deal happens to a lot of families. As time passed he didn't see me as someone unwanted anymore so after the divorce he still wanted to see me and raise me. So one day after the divorce he simply showed up at the door and rang the bell. My memory is kinda fuzzy on this point but think I asked who it was, he answered so I let him in. Not sure what happened afterwards he and mom argued I think and he said some stuff to me while he took me to my room so I could stay there and play with other words not be able to see what he'd do next. From what I managed to understand he tied my mom, aunt and sister up is he did anything else I don't know he probably yelled or something. After he was done he came and got me, we went out and he put me in the car after which he went back in gathered my stuff and made my mom carry it out to the car. Not sure if my mom said anything or if he lost patience or snapped or simply planned to do so from the start but he started beating her in front of me. I remember screaming and franticly trying to get the cardoor open yanking at it then everything went black as I passed out. What happened afterwards... well I have no recollection of what happened.

Anyway after it happened I had to keep a low profile we moved around a lot so that he wouldn't be able to find us etc and think my mom took out her frustrations on us and things made me quite passive. Don't know how it is for most but I have to struggle to remember anything from my childhood because once I stopped to think about it I just couldn't recall my memories anymore. Well at least there's a reason why I didn't know the way to the convenience store.

In ways I always blamed myself for what had happened, not the whole if I didn't exists it wouldn't have happened. But because... I have this faint memory that once when I was out walking with my dad we walked past this bushes or trees or something and I pointed at them and said that my mom likes to pick them and use them to beat me. So it made me always believe that if I never said that it wouldn't have happened. Guess in some ways I still blame myself, it's not always easy to just let go of something. Funny though think this is the first time I've ever said I blamed myself for what happened.

One thing that should be noted, I don't hate him nor do I detest him or anything. Even if he was wrong he showed that he cared for me so I don't believe he's that bad. To me he's more of a no one honestly I just don't feel much for him. For all his care and love or what it was that motivated him he has a son that hardly acknowledges him, that don't know his name, that don't care about him. If I were him I'd be sad and for that I pity him but that's also as far as my feelings for him go. Though I wonder about genetics if there's something in it does that mean I'll turn out like him. I don't believe so as we're not the same but guess you can say it's more of a fear also because I've heard that I resemble him.

Think that's enough of my emo life story and who I am or how I became who I am.

[nighthawksw]

You wrote so much! i'm gonna read it and respond as i go along; thanks, btw.
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My family also always raised me to get things done early; i've instead become a very relaxed slacker; i'll get things done, but i feel best doing them towards the end, and enjoying the time before it needs done. I think by seeing how worked up my family could get trying to get things done beforehand, i figured i'd try the opposite end of things...it can get me into trouble at times, but overall i'd say i live a rather stress-free life because of it.

I learned to be open and speak out because of the net; you don't really have an image to upkeep over the net, you can be honest and blunt and it doesn't effect your life very much. You can be honest on the internet. You can say and do as you wish without near as much care about being slandered emo and what-not.

I can't voyage to say i've gone through what you described during your childhood; but i can relate to being disconnected. I'm not sure what had me so riled up, but besides anger and excitement (normally the adrenaline variety, similar to when you're angry but without a target)~ i didn't experiance much range of emotions; until my first girlfriend. Gawd, that was a real trip for me. Tore me out of my shell, and luckily i since i developed my other emotions so late, i was never scolded for crying. Today, i look upon crying as a healing step; i think it's good. Screw anybody who says i'm a panzy for it; their loss, and future explosion on somebody they care about.

Recently for me, my latestest girlfriend cheated on me, and i broke up with her; on the phone, none-the-less, which really pissed her off. Ironically, i later discovered she got together with the other guy, "officially" that very day. So i guess she really didn't care all that much. I can't say i've been near as naive and trusting as i used to be because of that; but at one time, people often told me too that i was naive. I think today i've distanced many of my friends, and am only close to two or three today. I feel a little lonely when i consider that >_<;

My faults...I'm blind as hell to subtle hintings of anything! i take things at face value often times; i'm absurdly curious, and wanna know everything about people i really like; and will lose myself in games and competitions.

I can definitely see how such a rough childhood could lead to closing yourself up, and doing everything in your power to help and support those around you: you don't want anybody to have to go through a time like you did, especially not alone. But even if people don't say anything, they'll notice when you hold something back.

Just because you resemble a person, doesn't mean you have his same faults. You can have similar traits, but you don't have to be as out-of-control or forceful as him. Those traits of your personality, and traits you can conciously work towards changing everyday of your life, and they're individual traits that nobody can change but you. Just remember who you want to be, and what you want to avoid doing. You sound like a great person to me; you just haven't been fortunate enough to find somebody who will return all the confidence and faith in yourself, which was stolen from your youth. Take a leap of faith sometime~ just remember who you want to be: "to me a person that can show their weakness is a stronger person," nobody wants to be weak, but only you can take that leap into the person you want to become. Focus on somebody you feel close to, someone you trust the opinions of; and try opening up to them as best you can, about the very things you keep within you.

*cough* did i mention i was nosy too?
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[07cbdj]

Well I usually I don't talk about myself, but it can't hurt to open up from time to time.

I had a relatively peaceful childhood with a stern father and a "normal" mother. When I was 3 came my brother. Because of the little age difference I've played with him a lot and he grew attached to me. For a long time we did everything and went everywhere together. If I'd have to describe my parents I'd say my father is strict and usually correct, but thinks a bit much of himslef. Being a relatively high-ranking police officer he grew accustomed to order people around and this shows up at home too. He's good-intendent and (as he says) cares/works for us a lot, but this means he barely spends time with us (he has to relax at home...). For these reasons my mother was the one who took care of me and my studies in elementary. She spend a lot of time with us, but my father gave us the permission for whatever we wanted. I think this is why I don't favour either of them. About my mother's personalty, I can't say much. She has a weird logic that's copletely illogical. That's the main trait of hers. Both of them lose temper easily, this leads to lots of arguing. My sister was born when I was nearly 10. This meant a little change in life, but nothing serious. She also grew attached to me and still is (it's starting to be a bother).

As for me I lived a peaceful, you could say boring life till now. Nothing extraordinary or even a little exiting happend to me. No accidents not even minor ones. I was smart so I focused on studying, and my father and mother was so proud of me. But still I didn't achieve anything major, I tried competitions, but never won anything. I've never stood out from "the masses". But I managed to accomplish anything serious enough to affect my life considerably. I guess I'm lucky 'cause I am just avarage, as I said no outstanding accomplishments, but neither anything bad that's above avarage (my biggest problems in life were getting into school/uni or cavity). My personality is the same (outwardly), I'm peaceful, patient, quiet, shy and introverted. Also I think I'm way too naive. And I'm hard to notice, people often just forget about me, even if I'm standing right next to them. Probably this personality is the cause that I didn't have a proper girlfriend this far. I say proper because I don't count relationships in elementary.

So who am I? Inwardly I'm a tottally different person. I think my parents raising me didn't affected me much, nor did my enviroment. I'm cold, "emotionless", calculating, sly and manipulative. But I'm triyng hard to be something different. I think very poorly about my parents (like being gready and fools <--- sometimes), and I don't have much love for my family.

I like helping others even if it means some drawbacks for me (I'm at the university of medicine). I form bonds with others very carefully, so my friends are a bit more to me than the avarage meaning of the word. This why "treachery" affects me very deeply.

The only effect of my "bringing up" is my outward personality (partially). The "true me" is a monster (at least not human, that's I sure of) by human standards. As you can see I have a contradictory personalaity...

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Sorry for my thoughts not being organized, but I had to hurry. Later I'll respond to You two too.

I said I'm "emotionless". It's true, but I'm also very empathic.
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Dv

[nighthawksw]

@07cbdj

I think the construction of your two sided personality is likely a result of how little personal care you were given by your parents; and in a way you reacted to that. It sounds kinda like you built your outward personality to deal with people, but built the inner you as a result of the way you were treated by your parents. It almost sounds like your dad kept his distance from you, and your mother was the disciplining side of the pair: thus leading you to build up frustration and anger which developed your "monster" you spoke of. But maybe i'm just reading into things too much ^_^

From the ages of 5 to 14 or so, i was a very angry child at times during school; i liked a lot of self discipline. At home, i was an excellently behaved child, who did just as his parents told; but if something went wrong it was my fault, and i would be struck if my mother was in a foul mood. My dad was the voice of reason in the house, but he often had to work overtime to handle our expenses, and was gone. My frustration and anger at the injustice in my home, was released during school in various ways and methods as i got upset: but i distanced those around me from myself.

Today, i've managed to break the hold that two-sidedness had over me. Sports channeled the energy and rage; complaining about random stoof (often in a humerus manor though) released my pent up frustrations; and finally opening up to somebody very important in my life let me grasp hold of the feelings i'd become detached from over the years: sadness, sorrow, ecstasy, and gaining a level of empathy.

I'm not sure who you want to become, but that's what i was able to muster out of your words, and these are my words in response. No matter what type of beast you hold inside, it's possible to tame it if you so desire. If you want it free, best step is to do so beyond your home; it'll seep into your soul and eventually you'll act as the beast no matter who you are around, or the importance of those around you. Possibly. There's always a choice though~ more than likely, there is also an inbetween or meshing of the two sides you speak of: it's your choice of who you wish to become, and based on that decision: it's up to you to find the strength and determination to alter yourself.

You are who you wish to be, but only through self-reflection or introspection can you truly see who you are, and how you can change yourself. Start with how you think, drill the ideas you want to change into your head; then begin with changing your actions. You can almost consider it brainwashing yourself, lol.
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[07cbdj]

Be warned, this'll be long...

[nighthawksw]

Sadly, enthusiastic amateur. I love hearing stories, but i also feel inclined to reply; often times people post stuff that they don't let anybody else hear, and i feel as though it's almost an injustice to not try and help them...but no, i have no license. I am taking both philosophy, psychology, and sociology courses this semester however, and have taken all of them in the past as well.

Freud had his own theory on how people's childhood effected their development; which kinda blows IMO, lol...but anyway, the reason i still think your parents influenced you, is that normally a parent helps a child have fun and teaches them what it means to have an attachment; not having that bond with your parents and being so disconnected from them, likely had a part in your way of thinking, and what you imagine yourself as being capable of; of course actually acting things out can turn out different of course.

Sadly, i'm not familiar with that theory >_<; I've only gotten a light breeze of philosophy; mainly ethical philosophy, but only the intro to that: so kant, sartre, mills, aristotle, plato, and..hmm, i know i'm forgetting somebody. What's Nietzsche's Übermemsch-theory, if you don't mind filling me in?

Normally when somebody acts out of character, in my experiance, something pretty huge is going on in their life; and they aren't coping so well.

Lol, totally with you on the chitchat vs conversation stuff; since i've been hitting more on philosophy, everything else has taken a kick to the sidelines. Normal topics just..bore me; they're hardly worth listening to when i have nothing better to do, and when i'm doing that i find myself getting more kicks out of the varieties of people in the world than what's actually being said.
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[07cbdj]

[nighthawksw]

So, i read the essay..and it really rubbed me the wrong way >_>;
I'll admit i was raised a christian, which is the target group he blames for peoples' weakness, so i may have the very traits he blames christianity of spreading. Contrary to his idea that it's best to leave the strong to be strong, persue their dreams, and leave behind those who are "lazy" or weak, i argue that those who are lazy and weak have their own strengths they bring to the table; while the "strong" man has his own weakness: lack of empathy, or understanding in the view of those which are "weak".

When i read the essay, the picture i saw being described was the young boy, growing up in poverty and succeeding into riches; abandoning his family for being too weak to come up themselves, and not caring for societies' opinions of that action. Granted, that's a very harsh scenario, but it seems as though it'd be very much accepted through that theory.

I'm not extremely close to my family, but i have felt love for others; and that's a feeling i can't abandon. It's completely changed my view of the world, and i'm not longer driven simply to "succeed", but to grow as a person and learn more of people in general. You could call me lazy, you could call me emotionally weak~ as i will cry when i am betrayed by those i love or i see my dreams slipping. I'm ignorant as a person, for i am still fully capable of being blinded by my own anger. I'm not in complete control, but i remember when i was...and i can't say it felt like living.

Maybe it's more "weakness", and me clinging to those simple emotions like sadness, anger, and happiness is simply in the hopes of re-embracing that feeling of love; but these emotions were a gift by finding love, and a gift i'm unwilling to surrender again~ even if it means being binded by society, and acting as a "weak point"...which i don't consider myself being.

Through feelings, even if i haven't experienced what others have, i can tell of situations i believe gave off a similar feeling to what they're experiencing...even if i can't be a person with a similar history, i can be a person to be confided in and find relaxation from. I find in people who are lazy or held down by things in society, they can come out of it all with remarkable strength and perception into things i can only imagine. I believe, contrary to the overman theory, by strengthening our weakest; raising the standards of our society, we'll gain FAR MORE than leaving them behind.

The Germans believed the Jews to be a lesser people, and in response the Jews proved themselves to be far more than the Germans saw them, and developed the first atom bomb. The people called weak, proved that they were more than capable of matching the scientists of the supposed "superior" people. I think it's the same in everyday life: if we could improve life for all, we could find hidden, unkindled talent and abilities.
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[tenunda]

I always tell my brother the same thing: people will always surprise you, either with how smart they can be or with how stupid, so never underestimate them. You'll never fully know what they're capable of, and that includes yourself, because people are ever-changing just as they remain the same.

We live in a prismatic world, after all, where things can turn on less than a dime, and where chaos and order are one and the same. Yes, people are fascinating, just as they can be frustrating.