edit: relationship question / the love thread :)

NeL · Last edited by NeL on Fri Feb 01, 2008 9:40 am; edited 1 time in total

Question...

can friendship be establish/reestablish after two lovers broke up?

if it can, is it an almost impossible task?

i've heard this topic on the radio and so i just want to see A-S' members' opinions.

edit: since valentine's day's coming, if you wanna be in good terms with the one whom you broke up, what'll you do?

for those who believe that friendship's hopeless after a brokeup, why do you think so?

and lastly who's your ideal anime character that you look up in terms of these situations?

Xristyan · Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 1:13 pm Post subject:

I guess it partly depends on the circumstances on why they broke up...

I can't give my experience an example since i didn't get back together with any of my exes but I can give the example of my parents... I think they have cooled down, broke up and got back together for like several times before they finally got married... and they are very much in love now as they were back then... so I am saying yeah, it's possible...

However, if the circumstances in which the couple broke up were because trust was broken, then that makes things a lot more complicated... Things like if one of them cheated on the other, in this day and age the only way they might get back is if one is truly a saint or a martyr...

See a relationship is all about Love and Trust... both have to be present in a relationship for it to work... so if one of them is compromised the whole deal is doomed...

Now regarding HOW they will get back together is another matter... another building of trust which ideally takes a lot of time and effort... trying to make up for past mistakes and what not... i wouldn't say its impossible... but it needs a lot of work on both sides... so yeah...
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spankit · A-Source Staff Joined: Jan 29, 2006 Posts: 4562

1. yes.

2. not really, but only if the other person isn't an asshole.
or if you guys really stop any flirting crap, cause that happens
a lot. half the time i become friends, and then stop talking
cause they end up aggravating me a lot.

i don't know if you can really stay as anything more than
acquaintances after though, because it gets rather iffy if you
still 'care' but they're dating someone else.
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NeL · Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 10:07 am Post subject:

and also, if a couple were friends before, then they became together and then broke up, will it be possible for them to be friends again like before?

razor_alchemist · Yari Ashigaru Joined: Jun 18, 2005 Posts: 385

That really depends on how close you were as friends and as a couple, as well as the terms of your break-up. I don't think you'll ever achieve the same really close friendship you had with the person you broke up with, but I think you can still be friends.

Also if you broke up in a huge fight, or after doing something horrible to one another then I don't think there is a very high chance of regaining friendship unless you admit your mistakes and try to move forward. Normally after a break-up like that though the most you're going to get is alightly more than an aquaintance, but not quite a friend.

1ce · Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 10:43 am Post subject:

I agree with all of the above. It is possible to (re)establish/ friendship after two lovers break up. Varying on how each individual feels towards one another will differ how well it will go. Like the others have mentioned, if you broke up on bad grounds, then of course your friendship will also be a bit shaky, considering even casual friends would consider it shaky as well.

I'm sure if both sides of the party mutually separate, then all friendship will not be lost. Rather, if there is separation due to a huge maelstrom, then the relationship would likely rest in ruins.

Now on another note, What do you guys feel about being smothered in a relationship?

manwithnoname · Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 9:04 pm Post subject:

personally i feel it would kinda be hard to do it but really it depends on how much the individual liked them cause like when i broke up with my gf she wanted to continue being friends but i just cant see her as a friend because i liked her so much it pains me to even be arround her...
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Xristyan · Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 4:45 am Post subject:

xenocrisis0153 · Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 5:42 am Post subject:

NeL · Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 9:43 am Post subject:

i edited the first post so that everything gets wider Smile

so yeah the questions above are given...

the question kinda hit me cause i've never had reconcile with my ex-girlfriend... but i think it's possible, it's just i don't wanna do it...

xenocrisis0153 · Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 6:45 pm Post subject:

phalseprofet · Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 4:59 pm Post subject:

First, I'd like to give my answer to the topic question. Reinitiating a friendship after a breakup is very possible. The first step is taking time apart. Don't communicate with each other until both of you feel comfortable with it. After a while, you can start meeting in public (lunch, coffee, etc.) and feel each other out again. Sometimes it may be confusing, because of the remnants of your past together, but try to make it as non-confrontational and fun as possible (They may decide to act differently, but take it in stride. It'll piss them off in a good way).

Then, I caught this in one of the responses. I get what he's saying, but I thought I'd elaborate more on what he's getting at.