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Joined: Mar 11, 2005 Posts: 2071 Location: Behind a computer monitor
Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 9:12 am Post subject:
wow. that just totally rocked my socks. i really dun have an answer to that; all i know is that bringing god into context, it'd be pretty damn funny to see the dude in hysterics.
i think he would. not many people have realized this yet, but God is a fratboy. He floods the world on a whim (ant farm down the toilet), makes people talk to burning bushes (probably laced their drinks beforehand), and left his son at the hands of the romans (bailed when the po po busted in the house party). _________________
Joined: Mar 11, 2005 Posts: 2071 Location: Behind a computer monitor
Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 5:39 pm Post subject:
does god even understand the concept of funny? if he's omnipotent, how can he find something funny if he knows all? it's like he can finish the joke for you before it even begins.
Joined: Nov 29, 2004 Posts: 8365 Location: Futaba District, Fukushima Japan
Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 2:53 am Post subject:
maybe...
better chance if he starred in it...
A man is knocked over so hard that his soul ascends to Heaven while he's unconscious. During this moment, he has a chance to talk to God. God tells the man he can ask him any three questions he chooses. The man takes advantage of the opporutunity.
1). What is a million years like to you?
A). It's like a second.
2). What is a million dollars like to you?
A). It's like a penny.
3). Can I have a million dollars?
A). Sure, just gimme a second.
^__________^ _________________ GTX: Great Teacher Xeno... my daily blog about teaching in an elementary and middle school in Japan (see right-menu)
Joined: Mar 08, 2005 Posts: 7548 Location: Beaverton, Oregon
Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 10:18 pm Post subject:
Joke #1
Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over.
He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out." "Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better." Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished. He stutters, "B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact! How did he do it?"
"Easy," God chuckles, "Jesus saves."
##########
Joke #2
An itinerant frontier preacher had just finished preaching a fine gospel meeting for a poor church. They had no money to pay him, so an elder of the church offered him his horse as payment. The visiting preacher accepted his kindness.
The elder said, "Now this is a very unique horse. He has been specially trained to go forward when you say 'Praise the Lord' and stop when you say 'Hallelujah'. Here, watch." The elder got on the horse, said "Praise the Lord" and the horse started forward. He said "Hallelujah" and the horse stopped.
The itinerant preacher thanked him, said goodbye, and hopped on the horse. The preacher said "Praise the Lord," and the horse started forward.
All was fine until the preacher noticed a deep canyon straight ahead. "Praise the Lord," said the preacher, and the horse started going faster. "Praise the Lord," he said again, to which the horse broke into a full run, heading right towards the cliff. "Oh, no, I said the wrong words! What was the word to get him to stop? I can't remember! What was it? What was it?"
The obedient horse continued racing towards the cliff, with the preacher shouting any word that came into his mind. "Repent! Confess! Amen!" Nothing worked.
Finally, he remembered the magic word. He screamed "Hallelujah!" and the horse screeched to a stop, just inches from the edge of the cliff and certain death. Sweating but relieved, the preacher took a deep breath and said thankfully, "Praise the Lord!" _________________
wait, wait wait, this is turning into a joke thread... ...
but guess I wont complain since the jokes are funny...though that doesnt really answer the questions raised by the thread
Joined: Nov 29, 2004 Posts: 8365 Location: Futaba District, Fukushima Japan
Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 9:54 pm Post subject:
kevinchaosvs wrote:
wait, wait wait, this is turning into a joke thread... ...
but guess I wont complain since the jokes are funny...though that doesnt really answer the questions raised by the thread
meh, the question was hypothetical anyway _________________ GTX: Great Teacher Xeno... my daily blog about teaching in an elementary and middle school in Japan (see right-menu)
Joined: Apr 19, 2007 Posts: 678 Location: Currently in the Land of Anime and Manga
Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 8:24 pm Post subject:
It depends on the joke. What you've got to remember about god (at least based on what I've heard/read) is that he's been around a long time and he's seen everything. AKA jokes told for their shock value (What's red and goes 100 MPH? A baby in a blender.) aren't funny because he can't be shocked (unless he's the one telling it and getting a shocked response). Racist jokes would seemingly become even more complicated because god is of all races, but you have to remember that racist jokes are truly (and by truly I mean politically) funny if they're told and laughed at by the same race they insult. Thus god can tell and laugh at all racist jokes. In other words, if a Puerto Rican told the joke, "Why do Puerto Ricans wear pointed shoes? So they can get the roaches in the corners," god would laugh. However, if a Asian guy told the same joke god might rightly smite him.
So it really depends on the context of the joke. Certain rules apply , or rather don't apply, because god is of each and every group of people on Earth, but as long as it's a funny joke which, if derogatory, is being told by the same group it insults, god will laugh.
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