Itsudemo

[Hannafu-Chan]

Hi! me again! This is an updated, corrected version of my anime story. Although it isnt my best work, I hope that you all like it.

Its dedicated to my Gran, who fights valiantly against cancer every day.


Always – Chapter 1-New beginnings


It was night. The wind howled to the eerie moon and the shadows danced across the ground. No light shone in the forbidding darkness.

I shivered, unable to suppress my feeling of dread and unease. I looked up into empty windows of the house that was to become my next home and sighed. "Why me?" I muttered as my mother, ever cheerful and enthusiastic, ran to the door, a wide grin crossing her delicate face.

"Oh Mihoshi, I can hardly wait to see inside it!" She yelled delightedly as my father began to lift the heavy boxes from his ocean blue van.

"I'll help, papa," I said, bracing myself against the cruel, cutting wind. I lifted the box my father handed me and returned my gaze to the towering house once more.

It was like a castle from a fairy tale, one without a happy ending. It was made from the darkest stone, its towers almost seeming to kiss the never ending darkness that was the sky. Lichen and vines covered every surface, giving the impression of a forgotten, hopeless prison. Its windows were like eyes, filled with fear and malice.

I shivered once again.

"Mihoshi! Are you coming?" Mama cried to me as I stood in what was almost a trance, staring dazedly at the hideous, yet magnificent house.

"Coming mama!" I called as I ran to her, dismissing my uneasy feelings as foolish notions caused by tiredness.

I stepped into the house, my footsteps echoing throughout the lonely house. I gasped in wonder at what my eyes saw. I stood in an enormous entrance hall, surrounded by furniture that was covered in a silvery blanket of dust and cobwebs. Dulled colours surrounded me. reds, golds royal blues, colours that would have once made the house grand and inviting.

Portraits of long forgotten lords hung limply on the faded walls, their subjects wearing ugly frowns of disapproval.

I felt almost sad. Sad to see such neglect. Sad because the owners of the portraits would never again walk the halls of the huge house.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Mama said with a smile as she danced up the red carpeted staircase, her ebony hair billowing out like a cloak behind her.

"It's lovely..." I said as I gazed at a particularly sorrowful painting of a young boy, his blond hair shining in the gloom.

I wondered who the handsome boy had been, how long he had lived in the foreboding house I now found myself in, and, whether I would suffer the same fate as him, and become lost, forgotten and alone.

*************************************************************

Later, as the hour approached twelve, I sat in my bed in the large but gloomy room that had become mine.

"Oasumi nasi, " I whispered to Sumi, my snow white cat as she slept peacefully beside me, unaware of the unease that I felt.

I closed my eyes, willing for sleep to take me quickly. I wished with all my heart for life to be good and enjoyable, instead of the living nightmare that I had lived through in all of my previous houses and schools.

Images flashed before my tightly shut eyes. Images of faces, filled with anger and loathing. I heard voices yelling abuse and torments...

"Go back to where you come from!"

"Freak!"

"Monster!"

"One day I'm gonna get you, you just wait!"

I whimpered in fear, trying to banish the images from my mind, yet still they came, faster and faster, until tears came to my terrified eyes and I slowly drifted off to an uneasy sleep, the images following me, cursing my existence.

As I lay in a broken restless sleep, I heard a voice come, as if from far away. It sang in a voice like an angel's, assuring me that I would be fine, and that my life would slowly get better.

" Don't cry,
Stay strong
No matter who, or where you are,
You're beautiful,
You’re truth,
You're the only light in the never-ending darkness,
Stay strong,
I'll be here for you,

Don't cry,
I'll be here for you,
Itsudemo,
Itsudemo,

I'll be here for you,
Itsudemo...
Always..."

****************************************************************************

Always-Chapter 2: He who watches


The hour slowly approached five. The rosy fingers of dawn painted the sky vibrant shades of red and pink. Peace reigned.

The city was quiet, blanketed in sleep. The only sound, save for the whistling wind, was the lilting voice of a young boy as he sang softly.

He sat, bright eyed and tousle haired on the roof of a menacingly eerie house. As he sang, his ocean eyes full of emotion, he shivered, faltering slightly, as the wind chilled him.

He was the very picture of innocence, with his dazzling, intense blue eyes, lithe frame, golden locks and youthful features.

He closed his sapphire eyes as he finished singing, his pure voice carrying far on the wind.

"Itsudemo... Always..."

His sweet voice faded away into the half light and he opened his eyes once more, surveying the sleeping city with childlike curiosity and enthusiasm.

"Look at all the houses," He whispered to himself. "Sleeping people, all safe and happy. They don't seem to notice anything outside their own little worlds."

The boy's expression changed suddenly, to become one of pain, anger and sadness.

"They don't seem to realise that someone is in great pain, right under their noses."

He rose from his position on the roof and kicked the air savagely, fire blazing in his eyes, mingling with a terrible sense of helplessness.

He cried out, voicing his anguish.

"I want to help you! I wish that I could talk to you, ease your pain... but I can't... I can't... I'm useless..."

He fell to his knees, overcome with conflicting emotions.

"All I can do is sing to you..."

He began his song once more, as the sun climbed higher into the sky, and Mihoshi stirred in her sleep, her dreams filled with visions of angels with tousled golden hair.

*************************************************************

I awoke to the sweet, gentle sound of birdsong. I opened my eyes to see a beautiful green canopy of leaves far above me.

I sat up, bewildered. I seemed to be in the middle of a large forest clearing that was brimming with life and vitality.

A warm breeze swept over me, tickling my face and playing with the fine strands of my dark hair. I smiled, letting the warmth of the sun ease my fears and worries. I closed my eyes, sighing happily.

I don’t know how long I sat in the forest clearing, bathed in sunlight, listening to the song of the woods. It could have been barely a minute, or perhaps a full hour. I didn’t know, or care.

It was a voice that finally pulled me out of my trance, a sweet lilting voice, full of emotion. The sweet voice was singing an almost impossibly beautiful song. I cocked my head and held my breath, the magical words of the song drifting through me, touching my very soul.

“I’ll be here for you,
“Itsudemo…
“Always…”

The pure voice faded slowly away, as if captured by the breeze, leaving a stunned silence in its wake. Even the cheerful birds had ceased to sing, as if they too had been touched by the mysterious song.

As the silence grew uncomfortable, oppressive, even deafening, I suddenly felt a strong desire to see the singer of the inspiring, wonderful song. I stood up, noticing for the first time that I was wearing a delicate blue dress, made of a silvery soft material that I had never seen before. I frowned, bewildered once again, then I waved my thoughts away with an impatient hand. Thinking about my clothing would only slow my search for the singer.

I shook my head slightly, and then began to walk swiftly through the crowd of trees, straining my ears in the vain hope that I would hear the soothing voice of the singer once more.

My breath caught in my throat as I heard a faint noise ahead of me. It was just a soft noise, barely a whisper or murmur, but it was enough. I broke into a run, desperate to find the owner of the beautiful voice. My arms flailed wildly and my hair streamed out behind me as I ran faster and faster, thinking only of the wondrous song.
_________________
Take my hand,
Together we'll be,
unstoppable,
unforgetable,
free...

[DrJackal]

Nice i took a quick glimspe at it and it's good, you must have alot of free time on your hands. Make sure you get an A in your english exam

[Hannafu-Chan]

Thanks! Its good to get someone else's opinion. I really love to write and its nice when people like my work.

Free time? I'm supposed to be doing homework....
_________________
Take my hand,
Together we'll be,
unstoppable,
unforgetable,
free...

[bo1nkers]

lol nice job alot of fluff and dedication

[Hannafu-Chan]

Thanks I know the dedication may seem a bit cheesy, but I'm a little emotional right now. I have a lot going on to cope with.
_________________
Take my hand,
Together we'll be,
unstoppable,
unforgetable,
free...

[Hannafu-Chan]

Hey, me again. Here is the next part of my story. It's not much, but it took me a while to write, I couldnt seem to find my muse!


************************************************************

As I ran, ever faster, I caught glimpses of colours, dancing among the fresh green leaves of the magnificent trees. Red. Gold. Silver. Deep blue…

These colours almost seemed to coax me on, closer to the mysterious singer. I heard laughter, joyful laughter… then sobbing…cheering…yelling…

As I raced through the forest, I found myself mimicking the strange voice. Laughing for no reason, crying but not sad, cheering for no one, yelling to the world.

Then, finally, after what seemed like a thousand eternities, the one I had been following stopped fleeing from me. As yet another forest clearing loomed before me, I knew that the singer was standing there, waiting.

Waiting for me.
I slowed to a walk, my heartbeat quickening. I suddenly found that I was almost breathless, overcome with excitement, anticipation and, strangely, fear. I emerged into the clearing, my heart beating louder than I had ever thought possible. I looked around the little area with cautious eyes, both terrified and overjoyed. Scared, but feeling braver than ever before.

And then I saw him.
_________________
Take my hand,
Together we'll be,
unstoppable,
unforgetable,
free...

[3V1L_3R1C]

Wow! You have an obvious and wonderful talent. The imagery explodes from your words, both poetic and artistic. Very beautiful.

My only criticism would be that it's a bit short and you might want to think about working in more dialogue. These are only minor if you keep your style in place. I'm really looking forward to your next work. Keep up the good job!

[Hannafu-Chan]

Hello!

Here is the next part of my story. I must warn you that it is a bit strange, as it came from a dream that I had.

I hope you enjoy it. Please feel free to PM me with your opinions of it and any suggestions you have to make it better.
*************************************************************

He stood, lithe and graceful, against the trunk of a towering oak tree. His eyes were closed, and he was humming softly.

By breath caught in my throat and I gasped out loud.

He was breathtaking.

With his tousled, messy, golden locks, he looked just like a fabled hero from a fairy tale. I almost expected him to whisk me away on a white horse, to a land of adventure.

I stepped closer, entranced, mesmerised, spellbound. I felt that the answers to all of the problems in my life were hidden inside the strangely beautiful boy.

“Can you help me?” I asked, my voice seeming small and insignificant in the splendour of the forest.

The boy’s humming faded away, as if captured by my words. He slowly opened his eyes, letting them drift up to my face. They were of a deep cerulean blue. Intense. Full of emotion. Endless. I felt that those eyes hid secrets, both wonderful and terrible.

“Can you help me?” I repeated my question, my eyes caught in his.

He stepped forward, his movements slow and full of grace. I was tempted to back away, yet I found that I could not move, as if I were a tree, destined stay in one place for eternity. I felt my heartbeat quicken as he moved ever closer, his eyes glittering in the sunlight.

He stood close to me, his nose almost touching mine. I opened my mouth to ask a question, but my unspoken words were quickly carried away by the breeze. I could see sadness in his eyes. A painful sadness, coupled with loss and loneliness.

“Who are y-“ I began to ask his name, but I was silenced as he put his finger on my lips, his eyes telling me to be silent. I nodded, a slow blush burning my cheeks.

He untangled something from around his neck, his finger still on my lips. He smiled as he held the shining object up, for me to see.

Tearing my gaze away from his eyes, I saw that the object in his slim, delicate hands was a silver pendant, which caught the rays of the light, making it glimmer brightly. It seemed ethereal, hiding enchantments and spell, both destructive and glorious.

The boy took his finger from my lips and I opened my mouth to ask a thousand questions. He silenced me with but one swift look from his intense eyes.

“For you.” He said, those two small words containing a lifetime of tales. He gently fastened the pendant around my neck, his breath flitting across my face as he did so. He stepped back, as if he were an artist, admiring a painting.

I smiled at him, feeling suddenly at ease with the world. A warm sense of contentment engulfed me as I stood, listening to the sweet voices of the birds. Their songs brimmed with hope and love, bringing sudden tears to my eyes. I opened my heart to the birds, sharing their feelings, hopes and dreams.

Sing on, my friends, sing on. Let the world know of your secrets.

I closed my eyes, forgetting the mysterious boy, forgetting where I was, forgetting who I was. I concentrated solely on the birds, and their magnificent emotion. Tears of joy streamed down my face, yet I didn’t care who saw them. For once I was happy to be who I really was. All the feelings and fears that I had kept hidden were washed out of me, as the birds sang ever louder, ever sweeter.

At last I opened my eyes, feeling powerful, magical.

Thank you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for helping me. Sing on, my friends, sing
_________________
Take my hand,
Together we'll be,
unstoppable,
unforgetable,
free...

[VasH83]

men your realy great at this writing and that from a dream so good
you can write books as i look at it,

keep posting those story's i realy want to read more of your story's

[Chikage_Shampoo]

I've been completely captivated by your story since I first read it (when it was in the Write Your Own Anime Story topic). You're very good =D. Keep it up! X)

[Hannafu-Chan]

Hello! Here is the next part of my story. It took a while to write after my father mentioned that reading my work was more boring than watching paint dry...

I almost gave up after that! But, hey, I'm back, and ready to prove him wrong!

Hope y'all like this bit!


*************************************************************

I awoke in the morning, feeling strangely at peace with the world and all its inhabitants. I felt as if I could handle almost anything.

I will be strong. I will keep my power under control.

I looked down at my hand, frowning slightly as white sparks dived around my fingers.

“Stop that! I’ll never get through today if that keeps happening!”

The sparks vanished, yet a feeling of unease crept into my mind.

Please let today go well.

I sighed, lifting my hand to the amulet around my neck, feeling its smoothness.

The amulet from my dream! How on earth?

I stared dazedly at the pendant in my hand. A chill shivered its way through my veins as I wondered how the strange object from my dream had suddenly become real. Sparks flared warningly around my hand as I held the shining object.

Well, if my power exists, then perhaps nothing is impossible…

“Please let today go well,” I whispered aloud. “Please let it be okay…”



***************************************************************************

Itsudemo-Chapter 3-My power, my curse.


“Let us all welcome our new student, Kiyuki Mihoshi.”

I hated them. Hated them all. Hated the way their perfect lives were filled with such happiness and strength, while mine contained only loss, sadness and fear.

I forced myself to smile serenely at them, while inside my heart pounded furiously and a strange mixture of panic and rage threatened to overwhelm me.

“Welcome to Ozuma, Mihoshi-San.” The class intoned in unison, the same fake smile on every face. They were all the same to me. I could see instant distrust and dislike in every dark pair of eyes, just waiting to be unleashed.

I walked to my appointed seat, a small smile still touching my lips. The floor gave a small shake as I sat down, and I forced myself to be calm and peaceful.

Stay in control. Do not let them see your anger, lest your power break free. Don’t let them beat you. Stay strong.

I breathed in and out deeply, counting each breath. One. Two. Three.

Stay calm.

I sighed as the class began to work, occasionally passing around a whispered comment about my hair, my eyes, the way I walked. They hated me before they even began to know me.

Before they even knew of my terrible power.

****************************************************************************

“Did you see her?”

“Did you see what she wore?”

“Ridiculous, simply ridiculous.”

“She’s another outcast.”

“A freak.”

I closed my eyes, willing them to not shed tears. My knuckles tightened their grip on the soft wood of the table until they turned white, contrasting with the red anger and hatred I felt. Delicate sparks began to dance along my fingers, and I gasped, trying desperately to smother them.

Stop listening Mihoshi. You’re losing control.

I forced myself to concentrate on eating my lunch, as I sat, terribly alone. I pretended not to hear as my classmates enjoyed a conversation on my many faults.

“And her hair. What did she do to it?”

No, please no. Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Find some other victim to hurt, you beasts.

I tried to block them out, but their voices flew to my ears like savage vultures, desperate to cause me pain. Anger writhed inside me, a storm that yearned to be free, to cause those beasts as much pain as they caused me.

“Ohayo, Mihoshi-San, may I sit here?”

Shock coursed through me like a bolt of lightening. My breathing quickened as I opened my eyes, trying to smother my hope before it became fully formed.

Is this real? Is there truly one person in this whole school who does not loathe me?

My eyes fell onto the figure of a young girl. She was pale and pretty, with a gracefulness and charm that seemed real, unlike the harsh personalities of the other students who tormented me so. She smiled a sincere smile, which reached her eyes and shined there, like a soothing candle.

I felt that I could trust her. She seemed real. Genuine.

“Of course you can,” I said to her, giving her a wide grin. “I would be glad of some company!”

The girl laughed, and the sweet sound of tinkling bells reached my ears. She was light. She was innocence. And she was real.

“I’m Haruko Akemi,” Said the girl as she sat down beside me, light dancing in her almond shaped eyes. “You looked so lonely over here by yourself. I hope I’m not bothering you.”

Akemi looked nervously at me as she began to unwrap her lunch with trembling hands. I could see that she wanted to help me, yet was incredibly shy of strangers. I felt a pleased warmth begin to wash over me as I realised that Akemi had overcome her fear to help me.

“You aren’t bothering me.” I said with a dry chuckle. “I was just sitting here admiring the many different faults I have.”

“Oh…” For a moment, the light in Akemi’s eyes flickered and died. She looked away, sadness painted clearly on her delicate face. “I had hoped that Akio and his friends would leave you be. They can be so cruel… I’m sorry that they are so mean, Mihoshi-San.”

“It’s ok,” I said gently to her. I moved my hand from the table to lightly touch her shoulder. “It’s not your fault. I thank you greatly for choosing to sit with me. That was really brave, Akemi-San.”

“Really?” She looked up to meet my eyes, and for a moment I saw pain there, hidden from the world, then it was gone, replaced by happy light. “Thank you Mihoshi-San. I really mean that.”

“I know you do.” I whispered as I returned to my lunch, feeling that the world was not so horrible after all. Akemi was sweet and kind, and she really seemed to want to know me. The warm tranquillity of human company drove the voices of my other classmates away, until they were but mere whispers in the confines of my mind.

Maybe being here is not so bad…

“Look, now the mouse has joined her.”

I froze, hearing a jeering, hateful voice once again.

They wouldn’t start on Akemi would they?

“Little snivelling cry baby.”

Leave her alone. She hasn’t done anything to you. Leave here alone.

“Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. Wouldn’t you agree Juro?”

“LEAVE HER ALONE!” I exploded, my anger overcoming me, coursing through my veins like hot molten metal. “HOW DARE YOU HURT HER!” I was on my feet, yelling at those beasts. The dining hall had become eerily silent, yet I barely noticed, as I focused my anger on the vile creatures in front of me.

“Oh, and what are you going to do to stop us?” The leader of the group, a tall, lithe boy with a sullen, mocking mouth asked as he stood up to face me.

“Leave her alone.” I said once again, my voice low and menacing. All rational thoughts had been forced out of my mind, replaced by a towering fire of rage.

“Make me.” He growled, leering at me, a superior smirk on his handsome face. I wanted so badly to wipe that smirk off his face and hurt him as he had hurt Akemi. More than he had hurt Akemi. Much, much more.

I glared back at him. The air between us almost seemed to sizzle and burn, as I held his cruel eyes with my own. Sparks began to dance across my fingers, reminding me of the awesome, awful power that I held.

I could make him pay... I could. But will I?

“What has she ever done to you, you foul, evil little beast?” I was ready to explode. All my earlier attempts to conceal my power faded from my hate filled mind. All I wanted to do now was hurt the boy as much as I could. A grim smile played with my lips as I focused my energy, drawing all of my strength from my soul.

“What are you smiling at?” My enemy asked, a puzzled look crossing his hawk-like features. To him I was nothing, just another victim to bully, tease and taunt.

I said nothing, still building up my power, feeling it run through me. Wonderful, yet terrible. Beautiful in some destructive and strange way that I couldn’t understand. A tiny voice in my mind told me that I was wrong, but I ignored it. I wanted to fight. I refused to cower and cry any longer.

I am weak no more.

“Weakling!” My enemy had finally decided to attack me, just to prove his apparent superiority. He balled his hand into a fist and lunged at me, taunting me with his eyes, daring me to defend myself. He wanted me to cry, to scream, and to beg.

I am weak no more!

My enemy’s fist flew at me like a bullet, yet it didn’t hit me. I held the bullet with my eyes, feeling a strange sense of grim satisfaction. He wouldn’t beat me. I had power on my side. Again the voice in my head told me I was wrong, and begged me to stop. I didn’t listen. I wasn’t finished yet.

I am weak no more!

No, this is wrong!

I’m not weak!

Stop it! You’re not like this…

Two little voices seemed to be battling for control within my mind. I could hardly see through a pale, misty cloud of confusion. Power still burned my eyes, reminding me of the pain, the awful pain that I had gone through my whole life.

I have to do this.

No you don’t! You’re not like this Mihoshi!

I AM!

No…

“No!” I cried out in anger and confusion. “No! Leave me alone! Get out of my head!” I shook my head in vain, trying to make sense of my situation. In my mental anguish I had forgotten about my enemy.

Pain, searing pain licked at my side as he hit me with a savage punch. I doubled over, pain, anger and sadness battling to control my thoughts. The little voices were louder now, more insistent.

Get him! Make him pay!

No! Walk away! Walk away!

Hurt him!

Please Mihoshi, don’t do this.

Get him!

Nothing seemed to make sense. I couldn’t see, the world had gone dark. Pain still attacked my side, forcing me to my knees.

“Help…” I croaked weakly, tears of anger and pain rolling down my cheeks. “Help me…”

You’re strong! GET HIM!

Suddenly my vision cleared. I knew exactly what I wanted, no…needed to do. I stood up, momentarily forgetting my pain. I looked at my enemy, seeing his weakness. I raised my hand, power coursing through it. White light began to paint my fingertips as I prepared my attack.

No! Don’t do this!

I froze, suddenly realising what I was doing and what I had become. What had I been going to do? Had I been going to kill him? Terrified sobs tore through me.

What are you doing? KILL HIM!

“No…” I said weakly to the evil voice. I quelled the power in my hand, my sudden rage gone like the changing tides.

DO IT NOW!

“NO!” I screamed, wrestling with my inner demon.

DO IT!

“NO!” My yell echoed through the silent hall as I voiced my anguish. “NO! I WONT DO IT! LEAVE ME ALONE!”

The huge power within me exploded, like some monstrous firework. Intense light filled the hall as the shockwave coursed through it. The wave of white light was devastating, destructive, and oh so powerful. It was accompanied by a terrible roar, which reverberated through me to my very soul.

When the light finally faded, I fell to my knees, exhausted, mentally and physically. Tears still filled my eyes.

What have I done…?

The two mighty voices had vanished, leaving me alone in the caverns of my mind. I was afraid to look up, to survey the destruction I had caused. I couldn’t believe that I had lost control…again…

I tentatively looked up through my eyelashes. A strange scene greeted my cautious gaze. No one was dead. Nothing had been destroyed. Although my classmates had been thrown from their seats as my power exploded, no one was badly hurt.

I sighed in relief, as a hundred frightened faces looked fearfully at me, as if I was a demon or monster from a folk tale. At least no one had been hurt.

What have I done?

“You monster!”

”FREAK!”

The angry voices of my classmates rang out through the hall as I realised what I could have done. I was suddenly overcome with a chilling feeling of shame. I ran from the hall, still hearing the cries of the students.

What did I do?

I ran and ran, ignoring the pain that still tore at my side, like the teeth of an outraged tiger. I had to get away from everything. I needed to be alone, so that I couldn’t hurt anyone. I couldn’t believe what I had done. My life seemed to be a never-ending nightmare, from which I could not escape.

I finally found myself alone in a long, narrow corridor. I sank to the ground, sobbing as I had never done before, feeling as if my heart would break into a thousand tiny pieces.

What have I done…?

*************************************************************
_________________
Take my hand,
Together we'll be,
unstoppable,
unforgetable,
free...

[VasH83]

well you know what i think

your dad doesn't know wat he says
your work is again realy good its fun to read

i hope that the person of the story use his evil powers for the good of people.

You know i want more and more to know how the person looks like in a anime, or manga style,because thats how i see him when i am reading your work.

heads up and don't listen to people with bad comment

[Hannafu-Chan]

Thanks!

Yeah, I see the figure's from my story in an anime style too. Maybe I just have anime on the brain!

About the characters, well Mihoshi (In my mind) Is tall and slim, with really long dark hair and dark eyes. Her friend Rai looks really handsome, with blond hair and blue eyes.

I dont know what you see when you read my story, but thats what I see and try to describe.

Anyway, to cut to the chase, Thank you for reading my story!
_________________
Take my hand,
Together we'll be,
unstoppable,
unforgetable,
free...

[Chikage_Shampoo]

I agree, your dad does NOT know what he's talking about. You're good enough to be published, and reading your story is very fulfilling and fun to read. =D.

Your descriptions can very picturesque and can implant all of the scenes in my head very well. . The only thing: at times they clash with each other.

I can see the people in both anime and realistic form and to tell the truth, I already like your story even more than some well-known books.

Don't listen to other people if they bash your story. Just keep it up, because it's well-written!

[atikiN]

I've read chapters 1 and 2 of your story and here are some comments.

When I started reading it I enjoyed the way you used metaphors to paint a picture with words. Unfortunately, whatever you have painted was completely ruined with all the "I's" and "He's" that were stuck in for no reason. If you're talking about yourself in a paragraph, there’ no need to put "I" in every sentence, it will be understood that you're still talking about yourself unless you bring in another character into the picture. The same goes when you're talking about the boy. There's no need to say he every sentence, it just ruins anything you're trying to build up.

It also seems that sometimes you're trying too hard to paint a picture and end up contradicting yourself.

A quick example: