First attempt at poetry - Teenage years

Hannafu-Chan

Yup, I know, it's weird.

But hey, thats me for ya!

Teenage Years

You look at me

I look away

Determined

Defiant

And, yet again, I ask myself

That burning question

Why?

Why do I feel this way?

Your voice rings in my ears

Chasing me in my darkest nightmares

Your face is one that I hate

But love always

I’m trapped

I want to scream

Cry out

Voice my anguish

But I can’t

And so I hide

Hide behind petty arguments

Sarcastic, biting comments

I want to be alone

Can’t you see that?

I just want to be alone

So I don’t hurt you more

My voice is cold

Emotionless

What have I become?

Am I still human?

I lie awake at night

Voices consuming my every thought

Yours is one of them

The strongest

We’ll get through it

Won’t we?

These troubled times

These teenage years
_________________
Take my hand,
Together we'll be,
unstoppable,
unforgetable,
free...

Chikage_Shampoo · A-Source Staff Joined: Dec 25, 2002 Posts: 514

Hey, nice to see you write something again on the forums Very Happy

.

I don't write much poetry... Confused

, so I can't really help you here, sorry. But in poetry, you have a lot of freedom to cut grammatical rules.

I like it Wink

. The rhythms seem to be balancing out, but at some points it seems to be a bit choppy. I dunno, that's just what I see Rolling Eyes

.

HyDrA · Yari Ashigaru Joined: Jun 14, 2004 Posts: 215

wow...thats really cool, y'know there is a www.poetry.com thing or something a while back i forgot, u can enter ur poems n stuff there like ur name, and then everyone can see who wrote it Very Happy

testdasi · newbie! Joined: Mar 10, 2005 Posts: 22

Your poem very good... I wanna Sad

after reading... Sound like my years as teen... Don't know who I am, don't know how to get through problems...

cronik · Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2005 3:28 am Post subject:

feels almost like a song... it flows very nicely.

Hannafu-Chan · Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2005 8:48 am Post subject:

Thanks guys! Smile

I'm glad that my message is clear from the poem. I may be being melodramatic at poitns, but it is based on my own life at the moment.

A song, eh? Thats funny, because the other thing I write is song lyrics. Maybe I should make a song out of it.
_________________
Take my hand,
Together we'll be,
unstoppable,
unforgetable,
free...

Masayume3456 · newbie! Joined: Mar 08, 2005 Posts: 41

cool poem. A song you say? i say go for it! Smile