Introduction of my works and plea for help

[Lioconvoy]

For the past four years I've been writing fanfics, my works include Personality, and Out There.

If you wish to read either they can be found at:
http://www.ranmafics.com/Personality/index.html
http://www.ranmafics.com/Out_There/index.html

I also have some additional ones at Fanfiction.net, my pen name there is the same as my username here.

Any comments and criticism is welcome, and if anyone has the time I could really use some pre-readers. I'm working on my grammar and flow, but I'm not able to catch all my mistakes myself.

[cronik]

sure thing!
i would say...

Arimi got up bright and early. Today was the day--her first day of college--and she couldn't wait. Sure, though the summer had been fun, the one thing Arimi loved more than spending time with her boyfriend was learning.

Getting out of bed, Arimi noticed her roommate was already up and combing (or whatever one would do) her long black hair into the usual dumplings and pigtails. (i moved this here, so it would flow better in the bottom paragraph)

“Wow Usagi, I didn’t have to wake you up,” she giggled.

“Very funny. You know I was never late for school. Anyway, I have a class at eight,” Usagi pouted in reply.

Arimi could only nod. Having known Usagi since she was in first grade, she knew Usagi was right. The girl had never been late to school, despite having cut it close a lot of times. She looked on in surprise as her roommate got dressed in her old high school uniform. “Um, Usagi? Why are you wearing your High School uniform?”

“’Cause guys like the school girl look, and, unlike you, I still need a boyfriend.” The comment earned her a shake of the head from Arimi as she was heading for the shower. In the mean time, Usagi went ahead and prepared breakfast.

[Lioconvoy]

Your right that does flow better. The ' mark before the cause, is that because it's slang?