Random Family Guy quotes!!!!

eniGma_007 · Heimin (Commoner) Joined: Sep 01, 2005 Posts: 55

Chris: Dad, what's the blow-hole for?
Peter: I'll tell you what it's not for, son. And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World.
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Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running?
Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually.
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Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.
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Brian: Hola, me Ilamo es brian ... Nosotros caramos ir condustedes.. uhhhh ...
Bellboy(spanish): Hey, that was pretty good, except when you said "me llamo es Brian," you don't need the "es," just me llamo Brian.
Brian: Oh, oh you speak english
Bellboy (sigh): No, just that first speech and this one explaining it.
Brian: You .... you're kidding me, right?
Bellboy(spanish): Que?
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manwithnoname · Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 8:29 pm Post subject:

peter: *points at bowl* look brian my alphabits are sending me a message it says oooooo
brian: peter those are cheerios

peter: whats that large growth in the middle owmy legs
doctor: sir thats your penis
peter: oh and thes.....
doctor: testicles
peter: ohhh for a second there i really thought i was comming down with something
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rag_gurl · Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2005 4:38 pm Post subject:

Chris: hahaha, imma turn you into poo

Kyu_Ryuku · Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2005 11:37 pm Post subject: lor.

duno wat 2 do today.

demonic19 · Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 10:18 pm Post subject:

Quagmire:hey meg 18 yet
Meg:no
Quagmire: moving on then
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All who cross me shall know my fury and you shall fall --Lord Carnage

eniGma_007 · Heimin (Commoner) Joined: Sep 01, 2005 Posts: 55

Peter: Who touched the thermostat?
Meg: God, how does he always know?
Peter: Brain implant Meg, every fathers got one, tell ya when the children are messing with the dial.
Guy: Hey Peter my thing went off your thermostat okay?
Peter: Yeah it's alright.
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Brian: How was your shower?
Peter: Ugh, I tell ya Brian all the rumors about dropping the soap are true
Brian: Really?
Peter: Oh yeah you can't hold on to that thing to save your life, slipping all over the place guys were laughing.
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Quagmire: Hey who wants to play drink the beer?
Peter: Right here
Quagmire: You win!
Peter: Alright, what do I win?
Quagmire: Another beer!
Peter: Oh I'm going for the high score
Quagmire: Well actually Charlie has the high score.
Charlie: Hey man, your clock won't flush.
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SwordFlame · Heimin (Commoner) Joined: Mar 12, 2005 Posts: 51

Quagmire: why are you still here?

ethylenediamine · Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 5:57 pm Post subject:

manga108 · Heimin (Commoner) Joined: Sep 24, 2005 Posts: 58

family guy favorite character stewie::

Guy on Airplane: Oh great, I always end up sitting next to a damn baby.
Stewie: What did you just say?
Lois: Stewie, stop fussing.
Stewie: Pipe down Lois. (Slaps guy on head.) Hey big man, turn around. Oh you can't hear me now. I was going to watch the movie, but forget it. For the next 5 hours, you're my bitch.
Laughing

bwong001 · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 6:36 pm Post subject:

Peter: Hey hey I got an idea. Lets play "I Never." You got to drink if you did the thing that the person says they never did.
Cleveland: Oh I got one, I never slept with a women with the lights on.
(They all drink.)
Joe: I'll go next, uh I never had sex with Cleveland's wife.
(Quagmire and Cleveland drink.)
Peter: alright lets see uh, I never did a chick in a Logan airport bathroom.
(Only Quagmire drinks.)
****About 33 drinks later****
Peter: God lets see what else is there um...I never gave a reach-around to a spider monkey while reciting the Pledge of Alligence.
Quagmire: Oh God.
(Quagmire takes a drink.)
Joe: I uh I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot to take home a choke me while I touch myself.
Quagmire: Oh come on!
(Quagmire drinks again.)
Peter: I never did the same thing except with someone from Joann Fabrics.
Quagmire: Oh God this is ridiculous. You guys suck! (Drinks more and passes out.)

jackq36 · Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2005 4:21 pm Post subject:

Peter: hmmm let me think. what color is a red fire truck??
*flashback*
whooooo
lol

demonic19 · Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 11:26 am Post subject:

Peter: good thing i watched that national geographic specal on the fire truck

Narrarator: the lone firetruck stealthaly stalks his prey

(the fire truck beats the antelope down with its ladder)

Narrarator: the fire truck can eat its own waight several times a day

(4 ambulances drive in and start honking the fire truck honks angraly)

Narrator: i gues the ambulances will have to wait there turn
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All who cross me shall know my fury and you shall fall --Lord Carnage

Lost89 · Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 8:05 pm Post subject:

stuewy:i haven't taken a shower in days, here smell this
griffin:eeaa
stuewy:isn't it epic
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-rule the world
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FSD · newbie! Joined: Nov 29, 2005 Posts: 3

Peter: Hey Brian, did you see that rock hit me? It was like POW! Right in the Kisser! POW! Right in the Kisser! POW! Right in the Kisser...

Lois's brother: AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Peter: Quiet, you can't hear me when you're yelling. POW! Right in the Kisser! POW! Right in the Kisser! POW! Right in the Kisser!

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Tom: This just in: if your hand is bigger than your face, you have cancer.

Diane: *puts hand in front face*

Tom: *smacks hand into her face* Hah! That's not even really news!

Mikoul · newbie! Joined: Dec 26, 2005 Posts: 18

Louis: "Peter, chris has a crush on his teacher."

Peter: "whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa...whoa. Louis this is not my batman cup."
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Meg: "it cant believe my father is a retard. this is going to ruin my life."

Stewie: "Oh this is going to ruin your life, not the years of grotesque appearance or being a social outkast this is the thing to ruin your life. do you hear yourself. you i might kill tonight"