Random Family Guy quotes!!!!

1ce · Posted: Thu Aug 25, 2005 11:44 pm Post subject:

LOL... ew the person Chris was hanging out with was a girl pretending to be a guy
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Same episode:
Peter: Alright the only way we can get into the car is through the window. Me first.
*Peter dives through window into seat*
Peter: Ok Brian now you.
*Brian runs into window and is lying on the floor mangled*
Peter: Oh I forgot to roll down your window... Hey you there?... Wake up sleepy head....

Tymothi · Heimin (Commoner) Joined: Aug 17, 2005 Posts: 55

Meg: Chris, you're hogging the *something* (sry lol it just escaped me)

Chris: Oh yeah, well you're hogging all the ugly!

ladyarakune · Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2005 3:12 pm Post subject:

peter: lois, its time to start acting like the piece of shit you are.
lois-its pewtershmit
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same episode
stewie *talking to butlers*

stewie- okay, you go get me the new york times, and you two, fight to the death...
*butlers proceed to fight*

stewie-yes, how amusing
_________________
CAIN is MY whore. touch him and die.
current activity: rambling on about how trinity blood got licensed
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kaykay · Shogun Joined: Jul 22, 2005 Posts: 2622 Location: Cali

(peter is spending a few days w/ superman at the cave of wonders....he enters in on a justice league meeting)

peter: (to superman) i just thought u could go to the grocery store and pick up a few things....umm u know if u're not too bz. just saying, 5,000 mile walk for me, 5 sec. trip for u.
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ladyarakune · Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2005 3:50 pm Post subject:

diamond commercial

*the shadow of a man and a woman, the guy gives her a diamond, and she kind of bends over*

it says:
diamonds, she'll have no choice...
_________________
CAIN is MY whore. touch him and die.
current activity: rambling on about how trinity blood got licensed
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1ce · Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2005 9:18 pm Post subject:

Peter: Sometimes it's appropriate to swear
(Peter is in court)
Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you god?
Peter: I do........You bastard

kaykay · Shogun Joined: Jul 22, 2005 Posts: 2622 Location: Cali

(brian and stewie are feeding the animals at a theme park)

brian: can we go now?

stewie: shut up! i'm having fun!

(brian puts some animal feed in stewie's pants...goat comes over to his pants for some feed)

stewie: wow, aren't we affectionate today. hey, knock it off!

(all animals start following him)

stewie: AHHHH OH GOD OH GOD!!!AHHHHH.

(after his terrible incident, stewie goes over to brian)

stewie: i'm .....going....to kick.....ur .....ASS!

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quagmire: giddy giddy giddy...oh right!

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(brian makes a big scene cuz he doesn't want to wear his leash)

peter: geez, wat a bitch.
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ladyarakune · Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2005 2:38 pm Post subject:

thats why family guy is so funny, its so blunt

(meg in her moms old room)

meg- wow this is just like my room

lois- except for all the trophies and pictures of friends

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(peter and meg at a suicide cullt)
peter-lets party

(everyone dies)

peter- see meg, yet another group of people willing to fake death to get out of going to a party with you.
_________________
CAIN is MY whore. touch him and die.
current activity: rambling on about how trinity blood got licensed
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1ce · Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2005 3:06 pm Post subject:

*Peter talking about his love of his life*
Peter: Well until I met you Louis.. you're my silver metal =)

theone06 · Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 11:55 pm Post subject:

[Quagmire sees a cheerleader tied up in a bathroom stall]
Quagmire: Dear diary: Jackpot.

Quagmire: Hey there sweetie, how old are you?
Connie: 16.
Quagmire: 18? You're first.
Connie: Mom!
Quagmire: I like where this is goin'! Giggidy, giggidy, gig-gi-dy!

Quagmire: "Hey there little lady. Why don't you turn around and show me your Lower East Side."
Woman (man voice) : "Sure."
Quagmire: "Whoa, transvestite, back off! Wait a minute...pre-op or post-op?"
Woman: "Pre-op."
Quagmire: "Whoa, transvestite, back off!"

Quagmire: Hey Peter, uhh you have a card for if you transfered V.D. to somebody.
Peter: Uhh lets see here...uhh yep, "Sorry I accidentally gave you V.D."
Quagmire: Huh, that's all you have is accidental huh? All right I'll take it.

ThaMahin · Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 1:05 am Post subject:

My fav part is when peter gets a Blimp and Peter-copter and crash course it to Joe's house

(Peter crashes the Peter-Coptor)
Peter: Oh my God, Joe. I am so sorry!
Joe: How can you afford these things??

Other quotes:
Lois is teaching Chris, Stewie and Meg and notices a note being passed.
Lois: Chris read that note.
Chris: "I think Mrs. Griffin is hot."
Lois: Go to your room!

Meg: Wow, Chris, did you lose weight?
Chris: Well, I've been working out all week.
Meg: You look wicked skinny. I'm like, jealous.
Chris: Thanks, Meg. I'm jealous of your mustache.
Meg: [freaked] I don't have a mustache... do I?

Stewie: Oh, look at me. Look, my finger is in a very naughty place.
[Stewie's finger is in his nose]
Brian: Kid, you're talking to a guy who uses his tongue for toilet paper.
_________________
-If you can take all the nose-bleeds than come to the Ecchi Battle'Z

Jin_Roh · Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 3:05 am Post subject:

"Well Peter if your gonna pull a party out of your ass you might wanna stand up."

Brian
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[img:206:104:434aeede5e]http://www.narutofan.com/images/skin_plus/feat_eyeshield21.jpg[/img:434aeede5e]

"Sex is a sport, like raquet ball, you work hard for half an hour, work up a sweat and hope you don't get hit in the eye."

Happy_Dojo · Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 3:16 am Post subject:

"the firetruck can consume up to one third of it's natural body weight.......the ambulances will have to wait till later"
-documentary on firetrucks.

"fat women need lovin to.......but they gotta pay!!"
-quagmire.
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1ce · Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 2:05 pm Post subject:

Peter: I got no idea how to be black ... y'know, except for not smiling when I get my picture taken.
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Peter (when he's hungover): This sucks worse than that time I went to that museum.
(Flashback to childhood, standing in museum looking at dinosaur
skeltons.)
Peter (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night.

ladyarakune · Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 4:02 pm Post subject:

(peter, quagmire, cleveland, and joe stuck on desert island)

peter: im so bored.

(all just sit there)

peter: okay, lets play a game. what do you think would be worse, being cripple, or black?
_________________
CAIN is MY whore. touch him and die.
current activity: rambling on about how trinity blood got licensed
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